Thursday 11th September 2008 1:21 am Clear night.
Hrm, being a long time since I blogged eh. Had been busy with my "break". Actually, I "graduated" already, so I won't be going to school eh? It just means I have to work right? dammit.
The night is so clear tonight. It was crimson red the past few days. I guess it will rain tomorrow afternoon then. I jogged my usual 5 km in 22:53 today, by referring to the total time of the songs I listened to during the run. Music is becoming a part of my life. It takes away awful feelings from within me, and replaces it with vitality. It takes away the loneliness from my everyday life.
I went to Sentosa last week and got this nice tan/burn. I should had really wore a sleeveless. [ I can't go topless due to my skin condition of my back. ] {Yeah it sucks. } It was fun, going out with all of them. Alex, Armanda, Wei Lun, Ku Chen, Ivan, Edlyn, Jin Pei, Nicholas. Of course, Mark and Jeremy joined me afterwards, but they were damm late due to work. XD It rained but it didn't really affect our mood. [ I was lucky to get some allowances from my sister {Yeah it sucks again, I should work right? } ]
Oh yeah, I started playing with DanceDanceRevolution. -_- lol. Thanks to Edlyn and Jeremy. It is really fun, but hell.. it makes me sweat in an airconditioned environment. -_- Bloody hell... I guess I will bring spare shirt next time. And yeah, I still need more time to become a "veteran".
Okie, I sidetracked a bit and went to travian forums. Guess my short attention span is still haunting me. Ok. I did it again.
Anyway, I went to a wedding dinner this week. It really get me thinking. Wedding/Marriage is really way out of my world at the moment. I had never at once thought of it at all, lest the one time when Yaling asked me. Oo. *shocked* lol. But yeah. As much as I want to find a companion, I have not thought of marriage at all. Is it demeaning? Oh yeah, the groom is 25 this year, and way more handsome than me. :) Grins. The feeling seems so out of reach for me.
Okie. So most of the time that I spent for the past 2 weeks were on BBall and mixing around with new-found friends. And spending it alone at home? =X [ I just have to make myself sound miserable everytime eh? ] I will be going to work tomorrow with Mark and Jeremy.
Ah yeah. Jeremy. It is his birthday today. I noted that my relationship with him improved after I broke up with Yaling. I'm actually spending more time with him now, taking part in his activities and eating meals with him. I have been neglecting my family as much as I thought they had neglected me... I guess.. Double-edged thinking eh? Jeremy actually told me off once about spending too much time with Yaling. I can't remember when, but I guess I was really oblivious about the feelings of my family.
Oh nice. I almost spent 1 hour blogging. Time to sleep. :)
Ciaos. Btw.. my feeling.. Why won't it just die.. What should I do with it..
^^ 2:21 am. Clear night.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
28th August 2008 1:36 pm Not-A-Raining Afternoon Thursday
Yeah. Sheesh. I didn't kill myself after my previous post, and I was not emo-ing during that period of time. Seriously. And.. I wasn't really thinking a lot of my ex gf(s).
Well, I don't forget stuffs easily. That is all. I can always recall and it will always be part of the memory. For example, lamegodzilla is related to Dawn. Oh nooo. But I kinda like the name. The format which I used for heading, was learnt when I started writing my personal diary for YaYa. Oh nooo. I like the format. =) That's all. I remembered that I tore the diary one morning after drinking a tad too much. But it should still be at my place. Somewhere. Along with other stuffs.
Perhaps I shouldn't be so sentimental, and start throwing stuffs away like I wanted to when I tore the diary. =X But well, that's just not me. ( I think the tearing of diary scared my friend who was already heartbroken when she asked me out that time. She never ask me out again! =P )
Anyway, it has been a busy week? No. (- -,) I'm just slacking with my final report and AES + bballing everyday. I went for the NUS art bash 2008 with Esther. Oh my. It is a beauty pageant. And, most of the girls are really attractive. Yeah. Seriously CHIO. Even those that weren't on the stage. But most importantly, Esther's friend won. x) Yeah. She is the most attractive among the contestants. Tracce. And her goal in life is to be a housewife!
Yeah. I won't mind a pretty housewife! Wait. I mean I would love it. Haha. Well, all of Esther's friends, which in my opinion (IMO), are attractive ladies. Janet, Debby and Tracce? Alright alright, Esther is cute too. =) Anyway, Debby, Esther and me went wandering around city area after the art bash. ZOUK's music wasn't really to their liking so they left early. First, we were 'exploring' Clarke Quay with Gillian and Dhan, and ate at Mac. Then we ended up at MindsCafe.
Well. Debby amazed me with her command of english. Oo Yeah. Even Esther too. Shessh. It's kinda sad eh. But well, we had fun during with the games, but it closed at 3am. Damm. I almost figured out that game already! Well, so we ended up walking to Orchard cineleisure. Esther and Debby were singing whenever they have the chances to. =) Nice. It actually feels good being with them, as it wasn't the kind of gathering where it is awfully quiet. Moreover, I only know Debby that day.
And by the time we reach cineleisure, it has already closed all its tix booths. ZOMG! so we walked for nothing! -_- Nah. We sneaked into the cinema to watch the endings for Journey to the Center of the World and 12 Lotus. Ha! Esther was suggesting it. Debby just stood up and walked in once there's no one there. Woo! Go Debby Go! Oh yeah. Debby couldn't understand much of the dialogue in 12 Lotus, but Hey! I can't too. Dialects ftw. Journey was a tad absurd but exciting to watch. =) while 12 Lotus was .... funny yet full of sorrow.... I think I will get emotional if I watch the entire movie instead of "Huh HUh?" like I did at the end.
^^ Sunday sleep. Bball & mess around with young peeps.
Last week of FYP. Yeah. I'm still waking up feeling uber tiredness. I don't get it. I slept early, yet every morning, I woke up to my alarm. I just feel UBER TIRED. Maybe it is the lack of drive in me to go to school everyday. Sigh. But Yeah. I'm working hard.
Anyhow. Seeya. 2:21
Yeah. Sheesh. I didn't kill myself after my previous post, and I was not emo-ing during that period of time. Seriously. And.. I wasn't really thinking a lot of my ex gf(s).
Well, I don't forget stuffs easily. That is all. I can always recall and it will always be part of the memory. For example, lamegodzilla is related to Dawn. Oh nooo. But I kinda like the name. The format which I used for heading, was learnt when I started writing my personal diary for YaYa. Oh nooo. I like the format. =) That's all. I remembered that I tore the diary one morning after drinking a tad too much. But it should still be at my place. Somewhere. Along with other stuffs.
Perhaps I shouldn't be so sentimental, and start throwing stuffs away like I wanted to when I tore the diary. =X But well, that's just not me. ( I think the tearing of diary scared my friend who was already heartbroken when she asked me out that time. She never ask me out again! =P )
Anyway, it has been a busy week? No. (- -,) I'm just slacking with my final report and AES + bballing everyday. I went for the NUS art bash 2008 with Esther. Oh my. It is a beauty pageant. And, most of the girls are really attractive. Yeah. Seriously CHIO. Even those that weren't on the stage. But most importantly, Esther's friend won. x) Yeah. She is the most attractive among the contestants. Tracce. And her goal in life is to be a housewife!
Yeah. I won't mind a pretty housewife! Wait. I mean I would love it. Haha. Well, all of Esther's friends, which in my opinion (IMO), are attractive ladies. Janet, Debby and Tracce? Alright alright, Esther is cute too. =) Anyway, Debby, Esther and me went wandering around city area after the art bash. ZOUK's music wasn't really to their liking so they left early. First, we were 'exploring' Clarke Quay with Gillian and Dhan, and ate at Mac. Then we ended up at MindsCafe.
Well. Debby amazed me with her command of english. Oo Yeah. Even Esther too. Shessh. It's kinda sad eh. But well, we had fun during with the games, but it closed at 3am. Damm. I almost figured out that game already! Well, so we ended up walking to Orchard cineleisure. Esther and Debby were singing whenever they have the chances to. =) Nice. It actually feels good being with them, as it wasn't the kind of gathering where it is awfully quiet. Moreover, I only know Debby that day.
And by the time we reach cineleisure, it has already closed all its tix booths. ZOMG! so we walked for nothing! -_- Nah. We sneaked into the cinema to watch the endings for Journey to the Center of the World and 12 Lotus. Ha! Esther was suggesting it. Debby just stood up and walked in once there's no one there. Woo! Go Debby Go! Oh yeah. Debby couldn't understand much of the dialogue in 12 Lotus, but Hey! I can't too. Dialects ftw. Journey was a tad absurd but exciting to watch. =) while 12 Lotus was .... funny yet full of sorrow.... I think I will get emotional if I watch the entire movie instead of "Huh HUh?" like I did at the end.
^^ Sunday sleep. Bball & mess around with young peeps.
Last week of FYP. Yeah. I'm still waking up feeling uber tiredness. I don't get it. I slept early, yet every morning, I woke up to my alarm. I just feel UBER TIRED. Maybe it is the lack of drive in me to go to school everyday. Sigh. But Yeah. I'm working hard.
Anyhow. Seeya. 2:21
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
20th August 2008 Wednesday, after rain 4:35 pm
I felt like blogging again. Well, after Sun and Cheeka left my lab, it is kinda quiet here. My Ng showed his power of chasing people off without actually saying it again! Splendid display of skills here. :) Heh.
So here I am.. alone, in this cold, brightly lit room. But I'm not thinking negatively at the moment. The mood isn't right. Hrm, Maybe I should turn off the lights eh? Haha. But I can't get someone off my mind. Not the first time this happens. I still couldn't fathom the effect of liking someone. If the liking is genuine, why is it that it changes time to time?
What's the real idea of labeling someone as your respective partner? So that you can have he/she all by yourself? Seriously speaking, whatever stuffs you do with your respective partner can also be done with your respective friends. Well, unless you are too shy to kiss your best friend. Heh. :) Or maybe some other motives. Or perhaps it is a trend from watching too much drama serials where everyone is searching for love.
I actually agree with one of my ex-gf's comment that she said when she requested to break up with me. She said something similar to " I don't need a boyfriend just because I want him to listen to me, be there for me, to care for me, etc. " and followed up by "A friend can do the same. " and then " Let's just be friends? " and then "cries T.T QQ sobs BBQ " . In the end, she got another bf.. well, I'm not sure when.. since we aren't really "friends" for some time after the break up.
Okay. -_- Interesting. Life's full of contradictions. And people always try to sound noble and dignant about whatever they do, or say. But it all falls back to what they want to achieve and receive by doing such acts.
OKAY. What I really want to say, I want to really like someone, love someone. But I can't quantify it in my mind. Do you know that by saying "I don't know if I love you" is actually me being very honest to any relationships I have been in? Of course, that phrase can be followed by "I just wanna see you, but I miss you, but I can't bear to see you cry" to make the perfect combination.
No, I am not lying. Thus I couldn't say "I love you" blatantly. Maybe I'm just a tough shell to crack. I'm just not sensitive enough. I just don't lie enough? Hrm.
*Personally, I think you lied too much to cover my own ass* [ hey, no you didn't. You didn't even bothered to lie about coming late to school, to work, to meet your friends ] *hey, can you just lie about that? and appear all nice and stuffs in your own blog* [ What...? Shessh. Fine. /wrist ]
Why am I thinking about all this? Perhaps I'm just confused. I'm too complicated for my own good.
At least I'm not feeling all negative. :)
* note to self, I'm actually laughing a lot more on the bball court *
Ciaos. :)
5:25 pm
I felt like blogging again. Well, after Sun and Cheeka left my lab, it is kinda quiet here. My Ng showed his power of chasing people off without actually saying it again! Splendid display of skills here. :) Heh.
So here I am.. alone, in this cold, brightly lit room. But I'm not thinking negatively at the moment. The mood isn't right. Hrm, Maybe I should turn off the lights eh? Haha. But I can't get someone off my mind. Not the first time this happens. I still couldn't fathom the effect of liking someone. If the liking is genuine, why is it that it changes time to time?
What's the real idea of labeling someone as your respective partner? So that you can have he/she all by yourself? Seriously speaking, whatever stuffs you do with your respective partner can also be done with your respective friends. Well, unless you are too shy to kiss your best friend. Heh. :) Or maybe some other motives. Or perhaps it is a trend from watching too much drama serials where everyone is searching for love.
I actually agree with one of my ex-gf's comment that she said when she requested to break up with me. She said something similar to " I don't need a boyfriend just because I want him to listen to me, be there for me, to care for me, etc. " and followed up by "A friend can do the same. " and then " Let's just be friends? " and then "cries T.T QQ sobs BBQ " . In the end, she got another bf.. well, I'm not sure when.. since we aren't really "friends" for some time after the break up.
Okay. -_- Interesting. Life's full of contradictions. And people always try to sound noble and dignant about whatever they do, or say. But it all falls back to what they want to achieve and receive by doing such acts.
OKAY. What I really want to say, I want to really like someone, love someone. But I can't quantify it in my mind. Do you know that by saying "I don't know if I love you" is actually me being very honest to any relationships I have been in? Of course, that phrase can be followed by "I just wanna see you, but I miss you, but I can't bear to see you cry" to make the perfect combination.
No, I am not lying. Thus I couldn't say "I love you" blatantly. Maybe I'm just a tough shell to crack. I'm just not sensitive enough. I just don't lie enough? Hrm.
*Personally, I think you lied too much to cover my own ass* [ hey, no you didn't. You didn't even bothered to lie about coming late to school, to work, to meet your friends ] *hey, can you just lie about that? and appear all nice and stuffs in your own blog* [ What...? Shessh. Fine. /wrist ]
Why am I thinking about all this? Perhaps I'm just confused. I'm too complicated for my own good.
At least I'm not feeling all negative. :)
* note to self, I'm actually laughing a lot more on the bball court *
Ciaos. :)
5:25 pm
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
19th August 2008 1:46 pm Cloudy noon?
Oo hrm, I'm 20 now. Sigh. Thanks for the treat at Botak Jones. Polar, JW, KS and my bro? =) At least, my birthday isn't that quiet this year. It is not loud either. I know friends who host parties, bbqs, or chalets just for their birthdays. Yeah. Maybe I should have one, to make myself more like-able-cum-popular? Haha
-Hungry- 1:52 pm -left for food-
-Back- 2:12 pm
Hokay. So I'm back from lunch. Zzz, feeling damm sleepy now. *takes out mp3* hrm.. haha Ok. Much better with some music in my head. ^^ Anyhow, my project work is nearing its end. Yeah. It is gonna meet its marker. LoL. Pun eh? Gonna write up a report/thesis, as well as a webpage showing my project. I mean.. huh? What? My project? Sheesh.
Yeah, that's about ALL I need to do in 2 weeks, BUT I know nuts about the webpage thing. So I'll have to learn from scratch. Oh wellz. Not that tough to learn, as long as I can keep myself from falling asleep and distracting myself.
The ironic part is.. I keep distracting myself from finish this blog entry. Ok.
I'm beginning to feel better. Mr Ng talks a lot, but it isn't that all crap at all. I have to agree with some things that he says. Note that I said some things. =) But alright.
Hrm, 2 more weeks to see if I will stop thinking about her. It is kinda weird though. But I like to see her smile, laugh and play. It's that simple.
3:39 pm -lol long post eh?-
Oo hrm, I'm 20 now. Sigh. Thanks for the treat at Botak Jones. Polar, JW, KS and my bro? =) At least, my birthday isn't that quiet this year. It is not loud either. I know friends who host parties, bbqs, or chalets just for their birthdays. Yeah. Maybe I should have one, to make myself more like-able-cum-popular? Haha
-Hungry- 1:52 pm -left for food-
-Back- 2:12 pm
Hokay. So I'm back from lunch. Zzz, feeling damm sleepy now. *takes out mp3* hrm.. haha Ok. Much better with some music in my head. ^^ Anyhow, my project work is nearing its end. Yeah. It is gonna meet its marker. LoL. Pun eh? Gonna write up a report/thesis, as well as a webpage showing my project. I mean.. huh? What? My project? Sheesh.
Yeah, that's about ALL I need to do in 2 weeks, BUT I know nuts about the webpage thing. So I'll have to learn from scratch. Oh wellz. Not that tough to learn, as long as I can keep myself from falling asleep and distracting myself.
The ironic part is.. I keep distracting myself from finish this blog entry. Ok.
I'm beginning to feel better. Mr Ng talks a lot, but it isn't that all crap at all. I have to agree with some things that he says. Note that I said some things. =) But alright.
Hrm, 2 more weeks to see if I will stop thinking about her. It is kinda weird though. But I like to see her smile, laugh and play. It's that simple.
3:39 pm -lol long post eh?-
Thursday, August 14, 2008
14th August 2008 12:45 pm
Lots of thoughts, and emotions. I wanna scream, tear, rip things apart. No. I didn't quarrel with my bf... =P Like my other friends. But.. it is just.. I don't know anymore.
This world is just too complex. Messy. I don't get it. It is making me complex. Let nature takes its course, but then it is Man who change the nature's course. If we are, but some animals, living, ending life, and leaving life behind, wouldn't it be peaceful?
I want to rest, do things that I like, learn things that I'm interested in, love somebody , be loved by somebody. That's just too many wants. And there's a price to pay for every wants. 24 hours a day, just isn't enough anymore. Average lifespan of 80 years? Not sufficient. And out of that 80 years, 50% of it will be used on earning money for this frakked up world.
No, I do not want to end up working at Cash Convertor carrying a bagpack with me and take MRT everyday and carrying a tummy in front. I was looking at this man on the train. No, I'm not looking down on him. I just don't want to be like him. Be like that. But what can I do?
Sigh.
Lots of thoughts, and emotions. I wanna scream, tear, rip things apart. No. I didn't quarrel with my bf... =P Like my other friends. But.. it is just.. I don't know anymore.
This world is just too complex. Messy. I don't get it. It is making me complex. Let nature takes its course, but then it is Man who change the nature's course. If we are, but some animals, living, ending life, and leaving life behind, wouldn't it be peaceful?
I want to rest, do things that I like, learn things that I'm interested in, love somebody , be loved by somebody. That's just too many wants. And there's a price to pay for every wants. 24 hours a day, just isn't enough anymore. Average lifespan of 80 years? Not sufficient. And out of that 80 years, 50% of it will be used on earning money for this frakked up world.
No, I do not want to end up working at Cash Convertor carrying a bagpack with me and take MRT everyday and carrying a tummy in front. I was looking at this man on the train. No, I'm not looking down on him. I just don't want to be like him. Be like that. But what can I do?
Sigh.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Monday 10:30 11th August 2008
Alrighty, I'm in school at the moment. China VS USA basketball yesterday was much more exciting than the Iran VS Russia version. Hell. Lots of dunks, fastbreaks, 3-pointers, and great passes.
Ok, too busy to concentrate on blogging.
11:51am. lol. I was doing other stuffs. =P
Bye
Alrighty, I'm in school at the moment. China VS USA basketball yesterday was much more exciting than the Iran VS Russia version. Hell. Lots of dunks, fastbreaks, 3-pointers, and great passes.
Ok, too busy to concentrate on blogging.
11:51am. lol. I was doing other stuffs. =P
Bye
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Sunday Afternoon 1:14 pm 10th August 2008
Alright, I managed to rest a bit yesterday morning and noon. Then I was lured out to play some basketball at the evening. :) There wasn't really much match play yesterday, so it was just sit around and talk section.
Anyway, I want to train myself to be a forward rather than a center. More than anything really.
Polar's gathering yesterday was quite quiet for me. I was sitting alone playing my laptop? :) Not that I really mind. Perhaps I'm just used to be alone.
Basketball match on Olympic games. Iran VS Russia. Man, it really isn't anything like NBA. Russia owned in the first quarter, almost getting a lead of 15 points when it ended at 24-10. It looks like Iran is the underdog, and considerably bleak for Iran. But in the 2nd and 3rd quarter, Russia screwed up on their offense and defense. They changed their defensive formation to 1-to-1 which offered lots of opportunities for Iran players which were stronger under the basket.
Iran closed in the differences to only 8 points. In the last quarter, the pace of the game picks up. Iran started to bombard the defenses with 3-pointers and quick lay-ups. It was doing well till Russia went back to their formation defenses at 2:1:2. They managed to stop Iran's quick offenses and rebounds and managed to retaliate with a couple of quick 3 pointers.
By the last 2 mins, Russia had already managed to pull the score difference to 20 points. I was expecting more from the Olympic games though. It was the preliminary round, I guess.
I really want to play basketball again. :)
- and I really need sleep. geee.
See ya.
[ I'm still waiting ]
Alright, I managed to rest a bit yesterday morning and noon. Then I was lured out to play some basketball at the evening. :) There wasn't really much match play yesterday, so it was just sit around and talk section.
Anyway, I want to train myself to be a forward rather than a center. More than anything really.
Polar's gathering yesterday was quite quiet for me. I was sitting alone playing my laptop? :) Not that I really mind. Perhaps I'm just used to be alone.
Basketball match on Olympic games. Iran VS Russia. Man, it really isn't anything like NBA. Russia owned in the first quarter, almost getting a lead of 15 points when it ended at 24-10. It looks like Iran is the underdog, and considerably bleak for Iran. But in the 2nd and 3rd quarter, Russia screwed up on their offense and defense. They changed their defensive formation to 1-to-1 which offered lots of opportunities for Iran players which were stronger under the basket.
Iran closed in the differences to only 8 points. In the last quarter, the pace of the game picks up. Iran started to bombard the defenses with 3-pointers and quick lay-ups. It was doing well till Russia went back to their formation defenses at 2:1:2. They managed to stop Iran's quick offenses and rebounds and managed to retaliate with a couple of quick 3 pointers.
By the last 2 mins, Russia had already managed to pull the score difference to 20 points. I was expecting more from the Olympic games though. It was the preliminary round, I guess.
I really want to play basketball again. :)
- and I really need sleep. geee.
See ya.
[ I'm still waiting ]
Thursday, August 07, 2008
7th August Thursday 10:47 pm
Well, I don't know. Maybe Caryn was right. I'm just feeling dam lonely and empty. I need to get more friends and go out more etc etc.
I guess I'm probably anti-social.
I once wondered, why would Alicia worries about having a boyfriend even though she's confident, expressive, out-going? She doesn't enjoy a smooth ride when it comes to relationships. But there will always be guys that will attracts her somehow in some ways.
Dang. I'm not sure what I want to talk about either. Sigh. Confused mind. Let me think while I shower then.
Be back soon?
10:59 pm
Well, I don't know. Maybe Caryn was right. I'm just feeling dam lonely and empty. I need to get more friends and go out more etc etc.
I guess I'm probably anti-social.
I once wondered, why would Alicia worries about having a boyfriend even though she's confident, expressive, out-going? She doesn't enjoy a smooth ride when it comes to relationships. But there will always be guys that will attracts her somehow in some ways.
Dang. I'm not sure what I want to talk about either. Sigh. Confused mind. Let me think while I shower then.
Be back soon?
10:59 pm
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Wednesday 30th July 2008 11:52pm
Well, I felt like crap again today. Why...? Am I getting ignored? Or am I just paranoid? It is moments like this that make me regret what I say, even though I thought I have thought it true properly.
Maybe I'm just tired. Basketball is fun and all, but my heart tells me to win every matches. I just can't play "for fun" without feeling bad afterwards.
That's all I'm gonna say today. The void is getting serious. It kinda hurt now.
Ciaos.
Well, I felt like crap again today. Why...? Am I getting ignored? Or am I just paranoid? It is moments like this that make me regret what I say, even though I thought I have thought it true properly.
Maybe I'm just tired. Basketball is fun and all, but my heart tells me to win every matches. I just can't play "for fun" without feeling bad afterwards.
That's all I'm gonna say today. The void is getting serious. It kinda hurt now.
Ciaos.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Sunday 27th July 2008 9:55 pm
Well, it had been almost a week since I blogged. My FYP finally started. Truly started. I mean, I'm supposed to run 12000 cycles now and take more than 500 pictures for documentation. I haven't even start recording the data. OMG. Sigh, so much for slacking for so long. Ha. But I'm still falling asleep nevertheless. But I managed to do 700 cycles in 1 day. So, that leaves me with 11300 cycles in 15 days, which I also have to prepare a report and presentation. Yada yada, gotta work harder this week.
Anyhow, I just came back from bball. I got to know this group of WGS students through my brother last week, and I have been playing with them everyday. Somehow, it isn't that bad playing with younger people. At least they are more active than my group of friends. I really cba to call them out to play anymore. They won't even answer my call, or just reject it in some manner.
^^ Fun. Alright. I shall sleep early today. I hope. :)
10:27 ... I took a shower. :P
Well, it had been almost a week since I blogged. My FYP finally started. Truly started. I mean, I'm supposed to run 12000 cycles now and take more than 500 pictures for documentation. I haven't even start recording the data. OMG. Sigh, so much for slacking for so long. Ha. But I'm still falling asleep nevertheless. But I managed to do 700 cycles in 1 day. So, that leaves me with 11300 cycles in 15 days, which I also have to prepare a report and presentation. Yada yada, gotta work harder this week.
Anyhow, I just came back from bball. I got to know this group of WGS students through my brother last week, and I have been playing with them everyday. Somehow, it isn't that bad playing with younger people. At least they are more active than my group of friends. I really cba to call them out to play anymore. They won't even answer my call, or just reject it in some manner.
^^ Fun. Alright. I shall sleep early today. I hope. :)
10:27 ... I took a shower. :P
Monday, July 21, 2008
Monday 21st July 2008 3:20 pm
I'm feeling tired today. I slept early yesterday.. erm.. 1:00 sth am. hehehe.. Broke my own rule. Argh. At least I didn't force myself to stay awake to look after my game. :) So I received a msg from choco cookies early in the morning, which caused me to be on time at FYP today. Wow? Haha
But if I reach on time to sleep in the lab, I rather sleep at home? Sigh. I don't think my lecturer will approve either way. Thumb of rule : Sleep earlier. F EH!
Alright, so in the sleepy morning, Sun and Mary came to have lunch/breakfast with me at 11am. Went down to AMK hawker centre to eat. The wanton mee there is zomgwtfbbq tasteless. Mary bought from one store which serve cooled soup, average mee with lots of 'dark colour' sauce while I got one from another which served hot soup, tasteless mee with minimal sauce. - - Ok. So they were bad. Fortunately, I ordered carrot cake for us to share, at least our tastebuds survived. Sun ate the hokkien mee, which I think, is acceptable for hawker price. =X
Then we went to AMK Hub to play at the arcade. We challenged each other to basketball shooting machine, which both of them died in stage 2 with <90 points. Hehehe, I will be humbled enough not to type my own score here. :) Then we played Daytona which is like WTF? I lose? AGAIN? Yeah. I suck at that. - - Sigh. No matter how hard I tried to use the brake, change gear etc etc. I lost to 2 automatic cars. Managed to beat them the last time on Advanced map. - -
We also played the big drum machine again, which I'm the one saving them by managing to pass each stage when they fail. =P After that, it was Afterburner solo for me. I ended up attracting lots of attentions from a bunch of guys. They kinda crowded behind me. - -? Erm, I only managed to reach Innocent Land with 1 credit laaa. Sigh. I can complete the game with 2 credits. It is back to the basketball machine then which I think I attracted some more attention from more guys. Hehe?
Anyway, yeah. I need to get on with my FYP. Sigh. Lots of things to plan, and my lecturer isn't going easy on me. :)
So, Ciaos.
I'm feeling tired today. I slept early yesterday.. erm.. 1:00 sth am. hehehe.. Broke my own rule. Argh. At least I didn't force myself to stay awake to look after my game. :) So I received a msg from choco cookies early in the morning, which caused me to be on time at FYP today. Wow? Haha
But if I reach on time to sleep in the lab, I rather sleep at home? Sigh. I don't think my lecturer will approve either way. Thumb of rule : Sleep earlier. F EH!
Alright, so in the sleepy morning, Sun and Mary came to have lunch/breakfast with me at 11am. Went down to AMK hawker centre to eat. The wanton mee there is zomgwtfbbq tasteless. Mary bought from one store which serve cooled soup, average mee with lots of 'dark colour' sauce while I got one from another which served hot soup, tasteless mee with minimal sauce. - - Ok. So they were bad. Fortunately, I ordered carrot cake for us to share, at least our tastebuds survived. Sun ate the hokkien mee, which I think, is acceptable for hawker price. =X
Then we went to AMK Hub to play at the arcade. We challenged each other to basketball shooting machine, which both of them died in stage 2 with <90 points. Hehehe, I will be humbled enough not to type my own score here. :) Then we played Daytona which is like WTF? I lose? AGAIN? Yeah. I suck at that. - - Sigh. No matter how hard I tried to use the brake, change gear etc etc. I lost to 2 automatic cars. Managed to beat them the last time on Advanced map. - -
We also played the big drum machine again, which I'm the one saving them by managing to pass each stage when they fail. =P After that, it was Afterburner solo for me. I ended up attracting lots of attentions from a bunch of guys. They kinda crowded behind me. - -? Erm, I only managed to reach Innocent Land with 1 credit laaa. Sigh. I can complete the game with 2 credits. It is back to the basketball machine then which I think I attracted some more attention from more guys. Hehe?
Anyway, yeah. I need to get on with my FYP. Sigh. Lots of things to plan, and my lecturer isn't going easy on me. :)
So, Ciaos.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Sunday 20th July 2008 6:35 pm
Alright. A week has passed again. 4 more weeks till my FYP ends. I managed to prevent myself from failing my National Education. -_-" I have to do one assignment to make up for the missed trip. Good deal eh? :)
Not been going out to jog lately. -_- F EH gaming! I need to moderate it seriously. It kinda loses control every time I start playing. This whole day I have been sitting down in front of my computer, looking at my web based game going on. I don't know what else to do. Game eh? I actually have to find stuffs to do. And DoTA isn't what I want to do today.
I guess I'm starting to like those games that is long term and don't actually last just one hour. It is kinda like RL where you actually work towards a goal, instead of short thrills or profit. [ RL = Real Life ]
Alright. Now for some rules for myself. 1. Sleep before 12am. - - Wow. I hope this would work seriously. I'm tired of waking up tired. Period. [ Thus I'm always late? ] 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
Ok. Failed at thinking of more. I shall go out and play some more bball today. Good weather. Hope it will lift my spirit a bit. Heh.
Ciaos
6:53 pm
Alright. A week has passed again. 4 more weeks till my FYP ends. I managed to prevent myself from failing my National Education. -_-" I have to do one assignment to make up for the missed trip. Good deal eh? :)
Not been going out to jog lately. -_- F EH gaming! I need to moderate it seriously. It kinda loses control every time I start playing. This whole day I have been sitting down in front of my computer, looking at my web based game going on. I don't know what else to do. Game eh? I actually have to find stuffs to do. And DoTA isn't what I want to do today.
I guess I'm starting to like those games that is long term and don't actually last just one hour. It is kinda like RL where you actually work towards a goal, instead of short thrills or profit. [ RL = Real Life ]
Alright. Now for some rules for myself. 1. Sleep before 12am. - - Wow. I hope this would work seriously. I'm tired of waking up tired. Period. [ Thus I'm always late? ] 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
Ok. Failed at thinking of more. I shall go out and play some more bball today. Good weather. Hope it will lift my spirit a bit. Heh.
Ciaos
6:53 pm
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
- Don't feel like putting in the date and time today -
I can't help but to feel lost and defeated. Low self-esteem and morale is kicking in, I guess. Playing games allow me to stop thinking about myself, and concentrate as another being. Winning feels better than anything, but it gets me addicted and hunger for more. Losing makes me feel that I am what I think I am. Accepting defeat, not putting up any fight. I'm losing sight of any goal, I will live better blinded.
I feel like I'm being split apart. One is crying out loud, seeking for attention. The other wants to be left alone, prefered to be unseen. One wants to accomplish stuffs, the other just wants to see the end. One wants to be touched within, the other heighten the wall.
- Negativity ends -
Sighing off from FYP.
I can't help but to feel lost and defeated. Low self-esteem and morale is kicking in, I guess. Playing games allow me to stop thinking about myself, and concentrate as another being. Winning feels better than anything, but it gets me addicted and hunger for more. Losing makes me feel that I am what I think I am. Accepting defeat, not putting up any fight. I'm losing sight of any goal, I will live better blinded.
I feel like I'm being split apart. One is crying out loud, seeking for attention. The other wants to be left alone, prefered to be unseen. One wants to accomplish stuffs, the other just wants to see the end. One wants to be touched within, the other heighten the wall.
- Negativity ends -
Sighing off from FYP.
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Sunday 6th July 2008 , 10:18 pm
Alright, feeling sick at the moment. F EH! Shouldn't drink when you are sick. Headache + running nose, and a little tad of sleeplessness. Couldn't go for bball and dinner in the end. Sorry JW and KS. Haha
Being 2 weeks since I blogged, stuffs happened. Work work, presentation. All and all.
I don't know what I should blog anyway. Cooped everything up, and no one knows.
Ciaos
Alright, feeling sick at the moment. F EH! Shouldn't drink when you are sick. Headache + running nose, and a little tad of sleeplessness. Couldn't go for bball and dinner in the end. Sorry JW and KS. Haha
Being 2 weeks since I blogged, stuffs happened. Work work, presentation. All and all.
I don't know what I should blog anyway. Cooped everything up, and no one knows.
Ciaos
Friday, June 20, 2008
Friday June 20, 2008 10:38 am
Alright, this is the end of the fourth week of FYP. Sad to say that I didn't really do much real work. It's kinda sad for me to say this myself. Seriously, I enjoy doing 3D drawings on NX3 over writing dry reports. I don't really get it when during the 3 years of BME, they emphasized on designs and stuffs.
Yeah ok, my academic results suck big time. But the main problem is the chaotic education system. Do you know how boring it is to go through stuffs that you have zero interest in? The system forces you to do things that you may or may not do well in. Jack of all fields, master of none? Look at my polytechnic result up till now. GPA of < 2.0 , Well sounds bad right? Must be a whole lot of failures and bad grades with no As or Bs or Distinction. Nope. I got a Distinction for NX3 drawings, a few As or Bs along the way. Though I do have multiple bad grades.
Yeah, it is probably not justified for me to use this to debuke the system, as many other people are so "successful" with their lives. Making a living but not making life.
Change of topic. I think I am depressed. I went on a spree on chocolates, cravings for it... Damm.
:P Ok. Ciao. 11:46 ......... took so long to blog. Distracted. :P
Alright, this is the end of the fourth week of FYP. Sad to say that I didn't really do much real work. It's kinda sad for me to say this myself. Seriously, I enjoy doing 3D drawings on NX3 over writing dry reports. I don't really get it when during the 3 years of BME, they emphasized on designs and stuffs.
Yeah ok, my academic results suck big time. But the main problem is the chaotic education system. Do you know how boring it is to go through stuffs that you have zero interest in? The system forces you to do things that you may or may not do well in. Jack of all fields, master of none? Look at my polytechnic result up till now. GPA of < 2.0 , Well sounds bad right? Must be a whole lot of failures and bad grades with no As or Bs or Distinction. Nope. I got a Distinction for NX3 drawings, a few As or Bs along the way. Though I do have multiple bad grades.
Yeah, it is probably not justified for me to use this to debuke the system, as many other people are so "successful" with their lives. Making a living but not making life.
Change of topic. I think I am depressed. I went on a spree on chocolates, cravings for it... Damm.
:P Ok. Ciao. 11:46 ......... took so long to blog. Distracted. :P
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Sunday 4:43pm 15th June 2008
*CHING!!* TRIGGER!
You found a counseling letter. *STARE O,o
Ok, cool. So I was issued a letter.
Anyway, thanks Sun for coming to accompany me for lunch almost everyday. ^^ As well as Ahern and Eileen on Monday. And Guo Ying and Eileen on Wednesday.
3rd Week of FYP wasn't so quiet after all. I guess I should start doing some real work. Finally, NG CT gave me some work to do. I can make use of quiet Monday to write the test method.
I guess I will go jog a little. Gotta lose some weight! *whisper (before I can find a gf. Damm )
^^ see ya guys around! Tag.
O,o 5 minutes entry.
*CHING!!* TRIGGER!
You found a counseling letter. *STARE O,o
Ok, cool. So I was issued a letter.
Anyway, thanks Sun for coming to accompany me for lunch almost everyday. ^^ As well as Ahern and Eileen on Monday. And Guo Ying and Eileen on Wednesday.
3rd Week of FYP wasn't so quiet after all. I guess I should start doing some real work. Finally, NG CT gave me some work to do. I can make use of quiet Monday to write the test method.
I guess I will go jog a little. Gotta lose some weight! *whisper (before I can find a gf. Damm )
^^ see ya guys around! Tag.
O,o 5 minutes entry.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Yeah. It has been awhile since I wrote something again. It's kinda cool how my tagboard is getting revitalized by the random-ness.
I'm not happy. 3 simple word. Ok. 4. I'm tired. I'm feeling down. I'm feeling empty. I'm feeling sad. LOTS of words. Alright. I guess I should stick to a light tone. Before I start getting my 'young' visitors into depressive mood.
www.sherrymerry.com
My friend's portfolio. Not bad, but the ta-da cheers me up, because it is funny :P LOL.
[ I want to just fade into the background and disappear. Maybe one day. ]
I'm not happy. 3 simple word. Ok. 4. I'm tired. I'm feeling down. I'm feeling empty. I'm feeling sad. LOTS of words. Alright. I guess I should stick to a light tone. Before I start getting my 'young' visitors into depressive mood.
www.sherrymerry.com
My friend's portfolio. Not bad, but the ta-da cheers me up, because it is funny :P LOL.
[ I want to just fade into the background and disappear. Maybe one day. ]
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Wednesday 28 May 2008
Alright. New day new beginning. I'm currently doing Final Year Project now. I'm assigned to Ng Chin Tiong. Lawl. He hate me. nuff said.
The project seems easy enough. Something that I can finish in 2 weeks. How am I supposed to drag this for 12 weeks. Wow. Nevertheless, I'm spending lots of time doing other stuffs, like sleeping.
Marcus, lol. Everfeed. Oh well.
Anyway, I can't think of what to write at the moment. I sweat alot in the morning just by walking to school. W.t.f. . . . . . . . . .
BBL!
Alright. New day new beginning. I'm currently doing Final Year Project now. I'm assigned to Ng Chin Tiong. Lawl. He hate me. nuff said.
The project seems easy enough. Something that I can finish in 2 weeks. How am I supposed to drag this for 12 weeks. Wow. Nevertheless, I'm spending lots of time doing other stuffs, like sleeping.
Marcus, lol. Everfeed. Oh well.
Anyway, I can't think of what to write at the moment. I sweat alot in the morning just by walking to school. W.t.f. . . . . . . . . .
BBL!
Friday, May 23, 2008
23th May 2008 , 0205 am
Shitz, yeah. I'm still awake. Again, tormenting myself with improper time management. I remember me trying to get Green to sleep early and stop studying into wee hours. Guess I'm no better myself. Priorities differ.
Moreover, my priorities aren't really priorities-ous. :D New word of the day. Yup. I can spend time reading Saga of the Seven Suns, chatting with despaired friends, or just blogging/ gaming. ( I have cut down on gaming significantly. ) I have the urge to find something interesting to read. Non-fiction. But, I have no idea where to start or what to search for. NLB is disappointing with all the category like .... Erm.. Cycling, Wars, Food?, Travels. It doesn't trigger my urge to browse through them at all.
Nanotechnology might get my attention. Mmmm, I might have to try the reference section next time, but what good is it if I can't bring it home to read. I tried surfing the wikiversity. Insufficient materials on most interesting stuffs like Nanotech or Sociology. OR uber (ultra super duper) confusing formulas start popping out around lacking much explanation. I lack the IQ to grasp all that crazy characters surrounding those weird lines that look like this.
Did you see it? No? Mmmm, I do not know how to write them either. :D
So, alright, once-in-a-while blog of mine, ciaos.
I will fix the tagboard the next time I come. I hope people will want to leave comments after reading.
14 mins. Record shortest time?
Shitz, yeah. I'm still awake. Again, tormenting myself with improper time management. I remember me trying to get Green to sleep early and stop studying into wee hours. Guess I'm no better myself. Priorities differ.
Moreover, my priorities aren't really priorities-ous. :D New word of the day. Yup. I can spend time reading Saga of the Seven Suns, chatting with despaired friends, or just blogging/ gaming. ( I have cut down on gaming significantly. ) I have the urge to find something interesting to read. Non-fiction. But, I have no idea where to start or what to search for. NLB is disappointing with all the category like .... Erm.. Cycling, Wars, Food?, Travels. It doesn't trigger my urge to browse through them at all.
Nanotechnology might get my attention. Mmmm, I might have to try the reference section next time, but what good is it if I can't bring it home to read. I tried surfing the wikiversity. Insufficient materials on most interesting stuffs like Nanotech or Sociology. OR uber (ultra super duper) confusing formulas start popping out around lacking much explanation. I lack the IQ to grasp all that crazy characters surrounding those weird lines that look like this.
Did you see it? No? Mmmm, I do not know how to write them either. :D
So, alright, once-in-a-while blog of mine, ciaos.
I will fix the tagboard the next time I come. I hope people will want to leave comments after reading.
14 mins. Record shortest time?
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Sunday
18 May 2008 Sunday 3:47 pm
Kept busy with daily routines, I'm seeing lesser time for myself. It most probably means that I had being too idled the past years. Strictly speaking, I didn't accomplish much during my polytechnic life. I thought it was just a passing phase which I have to endure and study through.
The only time which I participated actively are when I put in effort to my studies, friends and CCA. My memories do not remind me of what happened after I got Yaya in my life. Vague images of daily meetings with her after school, spending time hanging out together, watching dvds, playing games. I neglected my other social circle. This whirled down to me feeling that I do not have much friends nor much attachments to other things in life.
I did not get myself involved with the politics of my class, just a listening bystander. I don't force myself to make friends, to perform, to excel, to compete. My life is plain, dull and uninteresting with the occasion surges with few good friends and Yaya. (Or maybe a few projects in school which I was made to compete due to my group members ;P )
Maybe I should describe this feeling. Do you remember the many times when you leave your house. The unrehearsed action in which you locked your door while you don't notice it, until you are on a bus, trying to recall if you did. The exact analogy of me during these times. I do nothing except for returning home (my other home ;p ). Then I will spend time pondering like I am now, about..erm.. my life? lawl
Though it feels like a privilege now, than the helplessness I felt that the society imposted on me.. and I wrote this knowing that no one wants to read this.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaa okay. I finally shooked off the bloody bold.......... wait.. italics..aaaaa ok good.
Geesus. Flawed programming. :D Ok, I went clubbing yesterday night to celebrate wanshi birthday. Ha! MOS. The place is like a sardine can, and there is lots of fishy guys around. lol. Despicable guys will surround the girls and try their best to execute a couple of grope-ifying stunts in the chaos, or at least feel around. The ironic part is ... the girls knew what they are getting into in the first place. Sigh.
The music that day wasn't exceptionally entertaining, perhaps it was due to the DJ, but it served the purpose. I was practically stoning inside as well, I don't know what to do. Dance? Wait.. you mean shaking around like a bunch of sardines alive in a can? That's the most you can do, and with my build, I was injuring people with my extended elbows and knees and co-accidentally touching something. =/ I can't frigging dance.
Blinding flashes, booming music, fogging dry ice, pretty babes, cool guys. Ah, I had a rumcoke and a whiskey dry. I wanted to drink more but my friends weren't that enthusiastic. Well, Piyo was drunk to a certain extent when I arrived and she didn't really get to enjoy herself. At least not what I saw when I came. I heard Subi got angry with her. :D Man, I want to drink.
At least I had my fun. And the night before I learned mahjong. I wasn't the one who lost the most. :D Fun.
See ya!
47 mins
Kept busy with daily routines, I'm seeing lesser time for myself. It most probably means that I had being too idled the past years. Strictly speaking, I didn't accomplish much during my polytechnic life. I thought it was just a passing phase which I have to endure and study through.
The only time which I participated actively are when I put in effort to my studies, friends and CCA. My memories do not remind me of what happened after I got Yaya in my life. Vague images of daily meetings with her after school, spending time hanging out together, watching dvds, playing games. I neglected my other social circle. This whirled down to me feeling that I do not have much friends nor much attachments to other things in life.
I did not get myself involved with the politics of my class, just a listening bystander. I don't force myself to make friends, to perform, to excel, to compete. My life is plain, dull and uninteresting with the occasion surges with few good friends and Yaya. (Or maybe a few projects in school which I was made to compete due to my group members ;P )
Maybe I should describe this feeling. Do you remember the many times when you leave your house. The unrehearsed action in which you locked your door while you don't notice it, until you are on a bus, trying to recall if you did. The exact analogy of me during these times. I do nothing except for returning home (my other home ;p ). Then I will spend time pondering like I am now, about..erm.. my life? lawl
Though it feels like a privilege now, than the helplessness I felt that the society imposted on me.. and I wrote this knowing that no one wants to read this.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaa okay. I finally shooked off the bloody bold.......... wait.. italics..aaaaa ok good.
Geesus. Flawed programming. :D Ok, I went clubbing yesterday night to celebrate wanshi birthday. Ha! MOS. The place is like a sardine can, and there is lots of fishy guys around. lol. Despicable guys will surround the girls and try their best to execute a couple of grope-ifying stunts in the chaos, or at least feel around. The ironic part is ... the girls knew what they are getting into in the first place. Sigh.
The music that day wasn't exceptionally entertaining, perhaps it was due to the DJ, but it served the purpose. I was practically stoning inside as well, I don't know what to do. Dance? Wait.. you mean shaking around like a bunch of sardines alive in a can? That's the most you can do, and with my build, I was injuring people with my extended elbows and knees and co-accidentally touching something. =/ I can't frigging dance.
Blinding flashes, booming music, fogging dry ice, pretty babes, cool guys. Ah, I had a rumcoke and a whiskey dry. I wanted to drink more but my friends weren't that enthusiastic. Well, Piyo was drunk to a certain extent when I arrived and she didn't really get to enjoy herself. At least not what I saw when I came. I heard Subi got angry with her. :D Man, I want to drink.
At least I had my fun. And the night before I learned mahjong. I wasn't the one who lost the most. :D Fun.
See ya!
47 mins
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
7th May 2008, 8:40 PM
I finally managed to sit on this pitiful chair and type my blog again.
A week is gone. Suddenly. Probably due to all the many events going on. The work. The pressure. As well as the pleasure. :D Right.
4E1 gathering was held without any procrastination but it doesn't seem very welcomed. Lots of excuses and broken hopes were given. Informing an hour before saying that they are not coming. Well, I guess they don't feel like going out after ....... procrastinating? =D Escape trip wasn't wondrous but I tried some of the rides which I would never really did without thinking of someone, or 2 perhaps? It did brought back some memories. Won a total of 5 plushies with Polar, spending a total of $20. (2 from scratch cards ) Right, shouldn't have wasted the $$ but it was fun trying to win the big prize, and again memories. Dinner at PizzaHut was the main event for the gathering, ah, no details as I was paying more attention to Wanlin than anyone else. I guess it is due to the different groups of friends there. ( There is only 7 persons and this happened! ) Language and good food played a part too. I was busy with the food! ( I am quiet during meals. )
Marcus THE boss came back from Shanghai and started dumping me with lots of work and maybe high hopes? I'm not sure, but I don't feel justified with the amount of workload that I get assigned to. I don't like rejecting people so I accepted them. Maybe the work that I had done wasn't that visible to them, as it was mainly editing stuffs, and it seems fairly easy to them? Ah, just like how I belittle their pathetic waste of time doing little stuffs within the LONG 8 hours everyday. (Sarcasm.)
At least time passed quickly for me, but I make time for those who cared about me by dropping them emails or smses whenever possible. Even answering a call from someone who is trying to get me to sign up a saving plan. It feels good talking to her as long as she don't bombard me with details of savings etc etc.
I do not have spare cash to save lately. Yeah. IAP allowances isn't the lowest in the world, but I do admit I try too hard to go out with friends, and ends up spending just the right amount ( All of my allowance? ) . Ha, but at least I'm happy. I enjoy companionship and love. Haha :P
I'm trying to make myself strive harder, by having someone in my mind. The exact someone of the 2 that I thought at Escape. :D It probably wouldn't bear any fruit but the faith can go a long way. I'm trying... trying to become a better person, on the outside, in the attitude, and with the emotions. Alright, awful moments in the blog.
It was only yesterday that I went playing bball alone for an hour. Then I went jogging, enduring the cramp and the painful sprain. Then met Caryn on my jogging route accidentally and went playing bball again. I jogged quite a distance though, so yes, I didn't stop on purpose. It was bball and chatting, ending quite late and subsequently resulted in me in sleeping late which made me felt so tired that I went to slept in the toilet at work again.
Yeah. Unhygienic! But at least I won't get stabbed in my dream. No, I didn't see any red bug this time. BUT, it was a hectic morning. Marcus couldn't get the hard copies before his flight, so I had to arrange that for the guy in Penang which got messed up and yeah. Moreover, I had 2 appointments with clients starting from 11 AM. Haphazard. Managed to get Rash to be my backup plan which is duly required while I was meeting ASE client with Yohan. After that was an ESD audit which dragged all the way from 230PM to 700PM. BLOODY..... Ok. I was very pissed towards the end and didn't really want to conduct the testing anymore, but Yohan and Ewoo were around. :D
And so, I came back home after that BLO. . . . . and relaxing in front of my laptop, typing my blog.
Time spent : 40 minutes.
Concealed in my heart.
I finally managed to sit on this pitiful chair and type my blog again.
A week is gone. Suddenly. Probably due to all the many events going on. The work. The pressure. As well as the pleasure. :D Right.
4E1 gathering was held without any procrastination but it doesn't seem very welcomed. Lots of excuses and broken hopes were given. Informing an hour before saying that they are not coming. Well, I guess they don't feel like going out after ....... procrastinating? =D Escape trip wasn't wondrous but I tried some of the rides which I would never really did without thinking of someone, or 2 perhaps? It did brought back some memories. Won a total of 5 plushies with Polar, spending a total of $20. (2 from scratch cards ) Right, shouldn't have wasted the $$ but it was fun trying to win the big prize, and again memories. Dinner at PizzaHut was the main event for the gathering, ah, no details as I was paying more attention to Wanlin than anyone else. I guess it is due to the different groups of friends there. ( There is only 7 persons and this happened! ) Language and good food played a part too. I was busy with the food! ( I am quiet during meals. )
Marcus THE boss came back from Shanghai and started dumping me with lots of work and maybe high hopes? I'm not sure, but I don't feel justified with the amount of workload that I get assigned to. I don't like rejecting people so I accepted them. Maybe the work that I had done wasn't that visible to them, as it was mainly editing stuffs, and it seems fairly easy to them? Ah, just like how I belittle their pathetic waste of time doing little stuffs within the LONG 8 hours everyday. (Sarcasm.)
At least time passed quickly for me, but I make time for those who cared about me by dropping them emails or smses whenever possible. Even answering a call from someone who is trying to get me to sign up a saving plan. It feels good talking to her as long as she don't bombard me with details of savings etc etc.
I do not have spare cash to save lately. Yeah. IAP allowances isn't the lowest in the world, but I do admit I try too hard to go out with friends, and ends up spending just the right amount ( All of my allowance? ) . Ha, but at least I'm happy. I enjoy companionship and love. Haha :P
I'm trying to make myself strive harder, by having someone in my mind. The exact someone of the 2 that I thought at Escape. :D It probably wouldn't bear any fruit but the faith can go a long way. I'm trying... trying to become a better person, on the outside, in the attitude, and with the emotions. Alright, awful moments in the blog.
It was only yesterday that I went playing bball alone for an hour. Then I went jogging, enduring the cramp and the painful sprain. Then met Caryn on my jogging route accidentally and went playing bball again. I jogged quite a distance though, so yes, I didn't stop on purpose. It was bball and chatting, ending quite late and subsequently resulted in me in sleeping late which made me felt so tired that I went to slept in the toilet at work again.
Yeah. Unhygienic! But at least I won't get stabbed in my dream. No, I didn't see any red bug this time. BUT, it was a hectic morning. Marcus couldn't get the hard copies before his flight, so I had to arrange that for the guy in Penang which got messed up and yeah. Moreover, I had 2 appointments with clients starting from 11 AM. Haphazard. Managed to get Rash to be my backup plan which is duly required while I was meeting ASE client with Yohan. After that was an ESD audit which dragged all the way from 230PM to 700PM. BLOODY..... Ok. I was very pissed towards the end and didn't really want to conduct the testing anymore, but Yohan and Ewoo were around. :D
And so, I came back home after that BLO. . . . . and relaxing in front of my laptop, typing my blog.
Time spent : 40 minutes.
Concealed in my heart.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
29 Apr 2008, Tuesday, 11:50 pm
I think I'm suffering from some mental illness.
I were feeling very tired at work one day, so I decide to hide somewhere to take a rest. After closing my eye, I felt something crawling on my arm. Small little legs climbing on your arm. I opened my eyes, and saw a red bug-like thing. Startled, I quickly swept it off. After a few seconds, I wondered what kind of bug did is that, and searched for it. It was nowhere to be found. A red bug.
Hallucination?
Then, after a pep talk from my supervisor at work about our IAP punch-list. Gone through it and the tiresome discussion on the tasks and projects. I went to have a can of coffee. Half-way through, I almost felt like throwing it. Trashing it on a gutter. I could almost see the coffee splatter all over the place and on the side of the car which was parked beside the gutter. I managed to get a hold of myself, still sitting on the bench which is on the other side of the covered gutter.
I don't know where this goes. I wonder when will I really break down.. Truly broken up into a thousand pieces. I clearly over-estimated my ability to mend myself, instead it is merely concealed.
Bah! Idiot Green didn't reply my sms. Guessed it was not too important.
Alicia! Get well soon. Brace yourself and be who you are. Keep those restrains till you get older. Do whatever you want to do now. Going abroad to study or any other matters. You won't be young and impulsive a second time after a decade. :)
Goodnight to all. My beloved friends.
I think I'm suffering from some mental illness.
I were feeling very tired at work one day, so I decide to hide somewhere to take a rest. After closing my eye, I felt something crawling on my arm. Small little legs climbing on your arm. I opened my eyes, and saw a red bug-like thing. Startled, I quickly swept it off. After a few seconds, I wondered what kind of bug did is that, and searched for it. It was nowhere to be found. A red bug.
Hallucination?
Then, after a pep talk from my supervisor at work about our IAP punch-list. Gone through it and the tiresome discussion on the tasks and projects. I went to have a can of coffee. Half-way through, I almost felt like throwing it. Trashing it on a gutter. I could almost see the coffee splatter all over the place and on the side of the car which was parked beside the gutter. I managed to get a hold of myself, still sitting on the bench which is on the other side of the covered gutter.
I don't know where this goes. I wonder when will I really break down.. Truly broken up into a thousand pieces. I clearly over-estimated my ability to mend myself, instead it is merely concealed.
Bah! Idiot Green didn't reply my sms. Guessed it was not too important.
Alicia! Get well soon. Brace yourself and be who you are. Keep those restrains till you get older. Do whatever you want to do now. Going abroad to study or any other matters. You won't be young and impulsive a second time after a decade. :)
Goodnight to all. My beloved friends.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Saturday 26 Apr 2008, 2:45 pm
Half day IAP is a waste of time. The worse part is having nothing to look forward to. It is Saturday but I couldn't find a leisure activity. I should really get used to loner activities.
Anyway, being at work and signed up for some company's "reader digest". It is all engineering stuffs, and sciences and, many of what I don't even know of. Man, I feel like I haven't studied before. Conclusion : I'm still dumb.
Alright. Short post. See ya~
Half day IAP is a waste of time. The worse part is having nothing to look forward to. It is Saturday but I couldn't find a leisure activity. I should really get used to loner activities.
Anyway, being at work and signed up for some company's "reader digest". It is all engineering stuffs, and sciences and, many of what I don't even know of. Man, I feel like I haven't studied before. Conclusion : I'm still dumb.
Alright. Short post. See ya~
Alright. Sat 26 Apr 2008 1 am.
Way past my sleeping time, but I was enjoying myself playing dota with my friends. Not winning, but enjoying. Sadly. My pride is drowned by the amount of things that I had lost and lost in.
That aside, I just found out that all my activities for Saturday are canceled. Tons of vulgarities came spurting out of me but fine, lets not bring it here. I rather go out with Green. At least she isn't THAT fickle-minded. All of you guys aren't guys.
Updates :
Green said that her phone is gone, dead. So I couldn't sms her. [Point A ] I kinda miss her.........smses. ( ^_^ ). IAP can be a hell of boring times. ( -_-||)
Alicia came back from London. So, Hao, Vin Vin, Alicia, and me went out today on Thurs. Caught The Hotti and The Notti. It wasn't as bad as the reviews said, though I agree some parts are really off-point/what-the-heck moments. Most importantly, it is fun because we made time for each other. What are friends for? To say you're too busy every time they ask you out? LoL ( Random thoughts)
The only form of entertainment now in the company is to email Piyo. Talking crap or complaining to each other "REALLY" helps a lot. But I also seems to realize that I'm actually not feeling too good emotionally.
Uncertainty + Jealousy. Uncertain of what I want, not going for it, not pursing it and might possibly lose the opportunity. Jealousy in seeing others in happiness, appears nonchalant but seeking it desperately and attempt to prevent others from getting it. I am what I snubbed. Irony. ( Rust = FeO2 = Iron * 2[Oxygen], thus Y = Oxygen/2 )
"Irony = Iron * Oxygen/2 " - Joseph Ng Jun Wei
Ah, yes. I went back to NYP on Wednesday after IAP to check out the Judo club and also Green. By the time I arrived in school, most of them left or are leaving for dinner. Thus I ended up going with them to eat at Newton. I didn't see Green at the piano ensemble, which either mean that I went to the wrong venue or she didn't go. I couldn't get to her either as "Refer to Point A".
Newton food is absolutely delicious in proportion with their price. Period. Nuff said. Piece of advice : Bring lots of female friends and share the bill. :P
Good. Nigh... Morning. 1:33 am
Way past my sleeping time, but I was enjoying myself playing dota with my friends. Not winning, but enjoying. Sadly. My pride is drowned by the amount of things that I had lost and lost in.
That aside, I just found out that all my activities for Saturday are canceled. Tons of vulgarities came spurting out of me but fine, lets not bring it here. I rather go out with Green. At least she isn't THAT fickle-minded. All of you guys aren't guys.
Updates :
Green said that her phone is gone, dead. So I couldn't sms her. [Point A ] I kinda miss her.........smses. ( ^_^ ). IAP can be a hell of boring times. ( -_-||)
Alicia came back from London. So, Hao, Vin Vin, Alicia, and me went out today on Thurs. Caught The Hotti and The Notti. It wasn't as bad as the reviews said, though I agree some parts are really off-point/what-the-heck moments. Most importantly, it is fun because we made time for each other. What are friends for? To say you're too busy every time they ask you out? LoL ( Random thoughts)
The only form of entertainment now in the company is to email Piyo. Talking crap or complaining to each other "REALLY" helps a lot. But I also seems to realize that I'm actually not feeling too good emotionally.
Uncertainty + Jealousy. Uncertain of what I want, not going for it, not pursing it and might possibly lose the opportunity. Jealousy in seeing others in happiness, appears nonchalant but seeking it desperately and attempt to prevent others from getting it. I am what I snubbed. Irony. ( Rust = FeO2 = Iron * 2[Oxygen], thus Y = Oxygen/2 )
"Irony = Iron * Oxygen/2 " - Joseph Ng Jun Wei
Ah, yes. I went back to NYP on Wednesday after IAP to check out the Judo club and also Green. By the time I arrived in school, most of them left or are leaving for dinner. Thus I ended up going with them to eat at Newton. I didn't see Green at the piano ensemble, which either mean that I went to the wrong venue or she didn't go. I couldn't get to her either as "Refer to Point A".
Newton food is absolutely delicious in proportion with their price. Period. Nuff said. Piece of advice : Bring lots of female friends and share the bill. :P
Good. Nigh... Morning. 1:33 am
Monday, April 21, 2008
5:48 pm Monday 21 Apr 2008
I'm still in the office waiting for a company transport. Man. It must have been a bad choice to think...... ah nvm. My laziness pwnt me. My head spins due to stress, commitment, and...and.... I don't know. This would probably be a post of nothingness but words that even I won't comprehend when I managed to calm down.
THINK. . . need to calm dooooooooooooooooooown.
Anyway, I was busy with the freaking documentation the whole day. It was smooth til I get to some websites that aren't user-friendly or of any use at all. Managed to inch my progress every hour til I feel like going home at 4. Luckily Alicia asked me out today for a gathering which gives me a goal, but now it became a stress as I'm going to be late! ARGH! Spins. Moreover, as I stayed back, Marcus managed to talk to me on SKYPE! ARGH! =/ I should had ran off from here.
Sigh. I need to chill. CHILL! I don't like this job. I want to know more stuffs. I rather learn how to chop trees down to make those documentation papers than to compiling them. I think I need to go for R&D industries where they don't make you do brain-less work routine.
HOW IN THE HECK! 6PM NO TRANSPORT YET? Sigh. It is my fault. MINE!
My heart is in a mess. My brain is blended. My body is fine. No one knows what's wrong with me!
Ok. Emo? Depression? :P Bye.
I'm still in the office waiting for a company transport. Man. It must have been a bad choice to think...... ah nvm. My laziness pwnt me. My head spins due to stress, commitment, and...and.... I don't know. This would probably be a post of nothingness but words that even I won't comprehend when I managed to calm down.
THINK. . . need to calm dooooooooooooooooooown.
Anyway, I was busy with the freaking documentation the whole day. It was smooth til I get to some websites that aren't user-friendly or of any use at all. Managed to inch my progress every hour til I feel like going home at 4. Luckily Alicia asked me out today for a gathering which gives me a goal, but now it became a stress as I'm going to be late! ARGH! Spins. Moreover, as I stayed back, Marcus managed to talk to me on SKYPE! ARGH! =/ I should had ran off from here.
Sigh. I need to chill. CHILL! I don't like this job. I want to know more stuffs. I rather learn how to chop trees down to make those documentation papers than to compiling them. I think I need to go for R&D industries where they don't make you do brain-less work routine.
HOW IN THE HECK! 6PM NO TRANSPORT YET? Sigh. It is my fault. MINE!
My heart is in a mess. My brain is blended. My body is fine. No one knows what's wrong with me!
Ok. Emo? Depression? :P Bye.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Ok, so I went jogging earlier, around 10 pm. That's the route that I took. I guess it is approx. 3.8km. Hopefully, and I managed to not stop once. Sweet. Guess eating lunches and meals even if you aren't hungry helps keep your body in good condition.Anyway, 10:55 pm Sunday 20th Apr 2008.
Promised Green to go out study with her yesterday, and so I did. Had hotcakes, flooded with maple syrup for breakfast, then we went down to Orchard in search of the library at Taka. Shit. I guess I haven't been in town for quite some time. Or at least the library there or that isn't there. We managed to find a place at Starbucks. She studied and did her homework while I read her comics and enjoyed my iced caramel macchiato.Then we went to have lunch after getting tickets for The Other Boleyn Girl, even though we aren't hungry. ( This is a good habit. )
I didn't know the show was about historical events until half way through it. It is about how King of England broke off with Roman Catholic Church for a girl, who managed to tempt him, and caused havoc around her family and England. I guess the King's senses were shrouded by his micro tadpoles.
And then and then and then, -back to first paragraph and picture-
Mood. Excellent. No more moody Sunday which I stays at home and thinks the unthinkable. Saturday was excellent too.Work -> Polar, gayness -> Green, dinner, walking around -> Polar, Leo, Forbidden Kingdom, LOL. That gay show.... man................. you must watch it! And you must be Chinese to be able understand how hilarious it is!
Ah 11:15 pm, time to get my shower and sleep. Long day ahead. Goodnight.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Ah, frustrating week. Agonizing.
Friday 1113 pm 18 April 2008
Just came back from dinner with my family and Aunt. Vista Kitchen's food is still up to standard. Chili crabs nice. Fried prawns yummy. Kangkong belachan with cuttlefish not bad.
I finished Blood Rock already. Nice. I don't know if I really like the book but at least I didn't stop reading it like I did with Harry Potter : Order of Phoenix. I spent times meant for sleep to read this book. Nevertheless, I can finally sleep with a peace of mind.
Job : Ah, the event sort of just tided over. Nothing much. Just an explanation letter to Marcus and he replied formally to me, and I believed, BCC to everyone relevant in this case. Editing pictures and stuffs are really getting into my head. It makes me sleepy, and feel like sidetracking alot. Experimenting. Sigh. I'm really absent minded. I kept forgetting to keep my equipment. My mind doesn't seem to understand that I wasn't really working there and it is not my "Area" over there. Messy guy I am.
I will be doing documentation next week, unfortunately, it will be as boring as hell. At least after learning how to really do it, and it is a really big pile of documents and books to convert to PDF files. Alright. I think I am the convertor of the company. First, it was scans into nice powerpoint animations, then there is photographs into powerpoint pictures, and NOW ta-da documents/catalogues into PDF files. Someone got to do it right? Ya~
About my mood, I'm rather peaceful today, and wasn't desperately seeking attention either. Blood Rock was my entire focus today. I didn't mail/sms Xinyi at work (neither did she ) and didn't sms Green either, or anyone of particular. Beside getting bored at work for a short period of time before I start messing around with a bit of calculations and running of some devices. Not much of an objective. The others that I felt that have some kind of objectives or learning opportunities are all stuck somewhere, or given to others to do.
Went jogging with Caryn on Wednesday. I think we jogged approx. 6km. Man. She beat me hands down. My stamina is so bad that it makes me think that I had really wasted 3 years of my life idling it away, thinking that I am so successful in life with a CCA and a girlfriend. Neglected my studies and now feel like a total dumb ass who is still stuck with secondary school knowledge. Neglected my CCA after getting a girlfriend, and now feel exactly the same as above. Losing the girlfriend after all this amplified the combination of 2.
What's life when you don't live it for yourself?
=/ Ok. How did I managed to get to that from jogging.... shit...Zz...
Ok. Sleep early, think less. Night all.
Friday 1113 pm 18 April 2008
Just came back from dinner with my family and Aunt. Vista Kitchen's food is still up to standard. Chili crabs nice. Fried prawns yummy. Kangkong belachan with cuttlefish not bad.
I finished Blood Rock already. Nice. I don't know if I really like the book but at least I didn't stop reading it like I did with Harry Potter : Order of Phoenix. I spent times meant for sleep to read this book. Nevertheless, I can finally sleep with a peace of mind.
Job : Ah, the event sort of just tided over. Nothing much. Just an explanation letter to Marcus and he replied formally to me, and I believed, BCC to everyone relevant in this case. Editing pictures and stuffs are really getting into my head. It makes me sleepy, and feel like sidetracking alot. Experimenting. Sigh. I'm really absent minded. I kept forgetting to keep my equipment. My mind doesn't seem to understand that I wasn't really working there and it is not my "Area" over there. Messy guy I am.
I will be doing documentation next week, unfortunately, it will be as boring as hell. At least after learning how to really do it, and it is a really big pile of documents and books to convert to PDF files. Alright. I think I am the convertor of the company. First, it was scans into nice powerpoint animations, then there is photographs into powerpoint pictures, and NOW ta-da documents/catalogues into PDF files. Someone got to do it right? Ya~
About my mood, I'm rather peaceful today, and wasn't desperately seeking attention either. Blood Rock was my entire focus today. I didn't mail/sms Xinyi at work (neither did she ) and didn't sms Green either, or anyone of particular. Beside getting bored at work for a short period of time before I start messing around with a bit of calculations and running of some devices. Not much of an objective. The others that I felt that have some kind of objectives or learning opportunities are all stuck somewhere, or given to others to do.
Went jogging with Caryn on Wednesday. I think we jogged approx. 6km. Man. She beat me hands down. My stamina is so bad that it makes me think that I had really wasted 3 years of my life idling it away, thinking that I am so successful in life with a CCA and a girlfriend. Neglected my studies and now feel like a total dumb ass who is still stuck with secondary school knowledge. Neglected my CCA after getting a girlfriend, and now feel exactly the same as above. Losing the girlfriend after all this amplified the combination of 2.
What's life when you don't live it for yourself?
=/ Ok. How did I managed to get to that from jogging.... shit...Zz...
Ok. Sleep early, think less. Night all.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
1025pm Tuesday.
Anger. All too timely. Signing of a frigging document and a call from Marcus. I guess that's what they need to get me on the neck. All the well. Welcome Fujicon Engineering IT staffs. Welcome to my splendid blog.
A private blog. Not anymore. I guess I have to cover up myself with layers of lies and shit to get out of this. Is this the working society? Where everyone hides behind, looking for whatever penny you drop, and replace it with whatever crap they have.
Who can I trust now? Everyone's hiding behind their lies and shit, or a beautiful smile or sweet face. It doesn't matter. They never bare their hearts to you. Never ever, even if they make an effort to smile in front of you, while talking to you, or while simply look at yngou. They don't really care. A conversation can end with a phone call. A walk together can end with turning backs. What can I say? I felt it since the first day? I tried to believe that everyone's true, but it seems that as one grows older, the harder for them to really open up themselves.
Those who don't really look at you, don't talk to you. I believe they are the one who won't spend time digging holes for you, as they most probably be digging for others in their path. I have no will to vie with anyone, nor outdo anyone. I just want to do what I can to my best knowledge. If anyone thinks I'm overdoing something, tell me. I will stop. If I'm breaking their rules, tell me. If I'm stepping on their toes, tell me. So I can remove my feet before they try to break my neck.
Anger. No. Sadness. Despair. I see no future in this. This pitiful world.
Why do I feel such immense emotion? Why am I tearing? Why do I care about a bunch of hypocrites? Why do I even feel guilty, depressed while trying to condemn them? Why am I still tearing?
My heart is indeed lost. As I placed values on the wrong stuffs.
Anger. All too timely. Signing of a frigging document and a call from Marcus. I guess that's what they need to get me on the neck. All the well. Welcome Fujicon Engineering IT staffs. Welcome to my splendid blog.
A private blog. Not anymore. I guess I have to cover up myself with layers of lies and shit to get out of this. Is this the working society? Where everyone hides behind, looking for whatever penny you drop, and replace it with whatever crap they have.
Who can I trust now? Everyone's hiding behind their lies and shit, or a beautiful smile or sweet face. It doesn't matter. They never bare their hearts to you. Never ever, even if they make an effort to smile in front of you, while talking to you, or while simply look at yngou. They don't really care. A conversation can end with a phone call. A walk together can end with turning backs. What can I say? I felt it since the first day? I tried to believe that everyone's true, but it seems that as one grows older, the harder for them to really open up themselves.
Those who don't really look at you, don't talk to you. I believe they are the one who won't spend time digging holes for you, as they most probably be digging for others in their path. I have no will to vie with anyone, nor outdo anyone. I just want to do what I can to my best knowledge. If anyone thinks I'm overdoing something, tell me. I will stop. If I'm breaking their rules, tell me. If I'm stepping on their toes, tell me. So I can remove my feet before they try to break my neck.
Anger. No. Sadness. Despair. I see no future in this. This pitiful world.
Why do I feel such immense emotion? Why am I tearing? Why do I care about a bunch of hypocrites? Why do I even feel guilty, depressed while trying to condemn them? Why am I still tearing?
My heart is indeed lost. As I placed values on the wrong stuffs.
I'm blogging at work again.
Tuesday 1130pm, I'm not working hard at work though I had thought of it. Ended up lazing around in the store, toilet, office, in front of the laptop, reading forums, reading blogs, smsing, thinking lots of crap, think too much, and finally think that I'm wasting my life sitting around, in office working.
I can't really imagine what my life will be like 10 years down the road. Working? Slogging all the way without really getting anything but money so that I can get something down the mall? Remember the times when people, movies, family and friends asked you about your dreams and what you would want to be when you grow up? I don't really see anyone that cares about that anymore when they grew up.
12pm, random thoughts and a bit of packaging made 30mins flew like an ion moving towards an opposite-charged plate. Yeah, crappy metaphor. Been doing a lot of that. Anyway, it is lunch-time now.
I can't say I feel sad, but I can't say I feel positively happy.
1211, I just went to the lobby and received a parcel. Anyway, I'm not having lunch again. Don't need the extra energy I think. I must get a healthy alternative for breakfast, nasi lemak isn't that healthy, and it is getting on my vomit nerve. Eating too much of that. ><
Went out with Green yesterday to Kinokuniya. Actually it was supposed to be an afternoon meeting but it ended up with me over-sleeping and thus we only reach there around 9pm. She bought 5 books, 4 thick ones and I got myself 1. Finally, something that I can read, and no more wandering in the library for now. Maybe Green read my blog and thought of this method to get me a book indirectly. Haha.
On my oversleep part, I was sorry because I only reached home and settled down around 1pm to rest after a whole night of cycling. All the way from ECP to Changi Village. Park connectors rock. Had nasi lemak over there for breakfast. It was around 5am. ( OH MY FRIGGING GOD)
It was a whole night of fun. Me, Tony, Vincent Ang, D.D, Edmond ( Ed's blading O.o ) took photos, enjoy the night scenery (planes, stars , forests), enjoy the cool breeze and enjoy each other's company. No one complained or whined, just cycled on and on with me playing an "inspiring" song on my phone. =D
We spotted a python on a road near to Changi Beach Park. I wanted to wrap it up and put it in my bike basket but received strong objections of fear and care from them( Other pythons, nah.. friends ). But, we managed to take some pictures with "it" :D It was just lying around, seemingly to be full from what observed to be rather large bumps in its slimy body.
On the same road (on the way back ), I received an encouraging message from my IAP boss who was leaving for Shanghai. Cool. Perhaps I saw his plane took off. :P I wished him bon voyage and he asked me to sleep early. lol. He knows I can't stop sleeping at work. Finally we felt tired and slogged our way back to the rental shop. Took a water+powder bath, we felt refreshed and waited for the shop to open. Then, we went down to Macs to have breakfast. Ed treated us with his shocking 2.7k Mac points, using up around 2k of it. Thanks Ed.
We slogged to Marine Parade and took 966 back to Woodlands before splitting. Fun.
Long entry today. :D I feel like cycling again this Saturday.
Tuesday 1130pm, I'm not working hard at work though I had thought of it. Ended up lazing around in the store, toilet, office, in front of the laptop, reading forums, reading blogs, smsing, thinking lots of crap, think too much, and finally think that I'm wasting my life sitting around, in office working.
I can't really imagine what my life will be like 10 years down the road. Working? Slogging all the way without really getting anything but money so that I can get something down the mall? Remember the times when people, movies, family and friends asked you about your dreams and what you would want to be when you grow up? I don't really see anyone that cares about that anymore when they grew up.
12pm, random thoughts and a bit of packaging made 30mins flew like an ion moving towards an opposite-charged plate. Yeah, crappy metaphor. Been doing a lot of that. Anyway, it is lunch-time now.
I can't say I feel sad, but I can't say I feel positively happy.
1211, I just went to the lobby and received a parcel. Anyway, I'm not having lunch again. Don't need the extra energy I think. I must get a healthy alternative for breakfast, nasi lemak isn't that healthy, and it is getting on my vomit nerve. Eating too much of that. ><
Went out with Green yesterday to Kinokuniya. Actually it was supposed to be an afternoon meeting but it ended up with me over-sleeping and thus we only reach there around 9pm. She bought 5 books, 4 thick ones and I got myself 1. Finally, something that I can read, and no more wandering in the library for now. Maybe Green read my blog and thought of this method to get me a book indirectly. Haha.
On my oversleep part, I was sorry because I only reached home and settled down around 1pm to rest after a whole night of cycling. All the way from ECP to Changi Village. Park connectors rock. Had nasi lemak over there for breakfast. It was around 5am. ( OH MY FRIGGING GOD)
It was a whole night of fun. Me, Tony, Vincent Ang, D.D, Edmond ( Ed's blading O.o ) took photos, enjoy the night scenery (planes, stars , forests), enjoy the cool breeze and enjoy each other's company. No one complained or whined, just cycled on and on with me playing an "inspiring" song on my phone. =D
We spotted a python on a road near to Changi Beach Park. I wanted to wrap it up and put it in my bike basket but received strong objections of fear and care from them( Other pythons, nah.. friends ). But, we managed to take some pictures with "it" :D It was just lying around, seemingly to be full from what observed to be rather large bumps in its slimy body.
On the same road (on the way back ), I received an encouraging message from my IAP boss who was leaving for Shanghai. Cool. Perhaps I saw his plane took off. :P I wished him bon voyage and he asked me to sleep early. lol. He knows I can't stop sleeping at work. Finally we felt tired and slogged our way back to the rental shop. Took a water+powder bath, we felt refreshed and waited for the shop to open. Then, we went down to Macs to have breakfast. Ed treated us with his shocking 2.7k Mac points, using up around 2k of it. Thanks Ed.
We slogged to Marine Parade and took 966 back to Woodlands before splitting. Fun.
Long entry today. :D I feel like cycling again this Saturday.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Alright. Saturday 12.04.08
Went through half day IAP today. Woke up and saw Alicia's sms from Italy. :D Alright~ But I was dazed in the morning due to the lack of sleep thus I managed to reply her when I'm on my way back home later in the afternoon. :D Good thing she didn't forget about me.
Couldn't get people to come out today. Even though I was tired, I didn't want to spend time cooping up at home. I thought I, polar, ks and jw are going out in the evening to go celebrate jw's brother's birthday but then I was informed that polar and ks not going as it is too far too expensive, according to jw. Man. How much does it cost? Moreover JW had a change of plan to cut cost, which is to celebrate at heng's place, then we know that polar's going out. Sigh.
And thus, I dragged myself home, walking in the little afternoon drizzle. I felt down. Serious. Am I the only one who people can find to go out any day any time with just a simple call/message? Oh wait, I know there is Leo who is willing to come out anytime. =/ I can't express my confused feelings anymore. I don't want to make my friends angry with an angry confused post of mine anyway.
Forced myself to sleep. ( Not really, since I AM tired. [Guess no one appreciates me anyway. =P]) Lol. I dreamt of Alicia. Is it in the afternoon or during last night....ah... can only remember vaguely. There is supposed to be a story with it or something, and some several other friends. Ha.
There will be a time when I will change my phone number, my life and many other stuffs. I will not inform anyone. I will be gone. I wouldn't be around for anyone anymore. Meaningless world. I see no future here. My exact thoughts in the afternoon.
Fine. I might do that. Meaningless world. :D Smiles. Bye
Went through half day IAP today. Woke up and saw Alicia's sms from Italy. :D Alright~ But I was dazed in the morning due to the lack of sleep thus I managed to reply her when I'm on my way back home later in the afternoon. :D Good thing she didn't forget about me.
Couldn't get people to come out today. Even though I was tired, I didn't want to spend time cooping up at home. I thought I, polar, ks and jw are going out in the evening to go celebrate jw's brother's birthday but then I was informed that polar and ks not going as it is too far too expensive, according to jw. Man. How much does it cost? Moreover JW had a change of plan to cut cost, which is to celebrate at heng's place, then we know that polar's going out. Sigh.
And thus, I dragged myself home, walking in the little afternoon drizzle. I felt down. Serious. Am I the only one who people can find to go out any day any time with just a simple call/message? Oh wait, I know there is Leo who is willing to come out anytime. =/ I can't express my confused feelings anymore. I don't want to make my friends angry with an angry confused post of mine anyway.
Forced myself to sleep. ( Not really, since I AM tired. [Guess no one appreciates me anyway. =P]) Lol. I dreamt of Alicia. Is it in the afternoon or during last night....ah... can only remember vaguely. There is supposed to be a story with it or something, and some several other friends. Ha.
There will be a time when I will change my phone number, my life and many other stuffs. I will not inform anyone. I will be gone. I wouldn't be around for anyone anymore. Meaningless world. I see no future here. My exact thoughts in the afternoon.
Fine. I might do that. Meaningless world. :D Smiles. Bye
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Thursday 10/04/08, 9.45pm
Cool. Feel so dead today. Not having enough sleep is really getting me. Somehow, it wasn't that bad either. Maybe I have gotten use to this feeling of death.
I didn't manage to do alot of tasks today. Smsing Green, email Xinyi once. Then, nothing. I guess. I don't feel the urge to do work for Everfeed. Sadly.
I keep having the urge to draw though. Man. Sigh. Maybe I'm just too tired and feeling hysterical.
And, I even went down to Bishan today. <_< What was I thinking anyway.... Doing stupid stuffs every day. I think I am digging deeper into my world of emptiness.
Sigh.
Alright. Smiles. Bye. :D
Cool. Feel so dead today. Not having enough sleep is really getting me. Somehow, it wasn't that bad either. Maybe I have gotten use to this feeling of death.
I didn't manage to do alot of tasks today. Smsing Green, email Xinyi once. Then, nothing. I guess. I don't feel the urge to do work for Everfeed. Sadly.
I keep having the urge to draw though. Man. Sigh. Maybe I'm just too tired and feeling hysterical.
And, I even went down to Bishan today. <_< What was I thinking anyway.... Doing stupid stuffs every day. I think I am digging deeper into my world of emptiness.
Sigh.
Alright. Smiles. Bye. :D
Alright. It is time for the entry of the month.
Being sometime since I blogged, which I can proudly attribute to my IAP which is sucking the life out of me. And also, I was feeling very miserable.
Over and over again, I began to notice that some stuffs are better left unknown. Sigh. I have to stop here...
Nah, just kidding. But it is getting quite late for me to type a long entry now. I still have to shower and stuffs. =/
Chatting with friends really get me away from the lonely IAP student mood. HA!
Ok, short entry.
Ciaos
Being sometime since I blogged, which I can proudly attribute to my IAP which is sucking the life out of me. And also, I was feeling very miserable.
Over and over again, I began to notice that some stuffs are better left unknown. Sigh. I have to stop here...
Nah, just kidding. But it is getting quite late for me to type a long entry now. I still have to shower and stuffs. =/
Chatting with friends really get me away from the lonely IAP student mood. HA!
Ok, short entry.
Ciaos
Monday, March 10, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
27th Feb Wednesday
Sitting at KouFu, using my friend's laptop. Finally a computer that isn't infested by games that will continue to suck my life away from me. So I decided to do some normal chatting online and typing my blog.
Feeling crappy. Real crappy. The emo part of me acting out again. I can't help but to feel this way. Engulfed by my emptiness. Someone had closed up on me. Made the wrong move. Wrong stuffs. I really didn't hope it will turn out like this. Not the first time I had made wrong decision, I guess. My whole life now is messed up due to wrong decisions.
The wrong result. The wrong me. I wasn't like this.
IAP. Attached to Everfeed Technology. Couldn't even find it on google map. Somewhere new, small, un-noticed. Hope it will be a nice place to work in.
But, it isn't a good place to try to get to. There isn't any public bus services. Well, hopefully there's a company bus that can take me from Woodlands.
Sitting at Macs now as there isn't any power point at KouFu.
Still, I'm feeling very crappy now. Emptiness rox! Sigh. Talking to people is somehow a way to perk me up a little.
Sitting at KouFu, using my friend's laptop. Finally a computer that isn't infested by games that will continue to suck my life away from me. So I decided to do some normal chatting online and typing my blog.
Feeling crappy. Real crappy. The emo part of me acting out again. I can't help but to feel this way. Engulfed by my emptiness. Someone had closed up on me. Made the wrong move. Wrong stuffs. I really didn't hope it will turn out like this. Not the first time I had made wrong decision, I guess. My whole life now is messed up due to wrong decisions.
The wrong result. The wrong me. I wasn't like this.
IAP. Attached to Everfeed Technology. Couldn't even find it on google map. Somewhere new, small, un-noticed. Hope it will be a nice place to work in.
But, it isn't a good place to try to get to. There isn't any public bus services. Well, hopefully there's a company bus that can take me from Woodlands.
Sitting at Macs now as there isn't any power point at KouFu.
Still, I'm feeling very crappy now. Emptiness rox! Sigh. Talking to people is somehow a way to perk me up a little.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Oh shitz. I seems to have forgotten to blog about my zoo trip? Did I?
Alicia even made a powerpoint presentation for it. :D Private stuffs, come my place and I will show you.
Yeah, Alicia, Vinvin and Hao decide to go out as a group that day. It's after exam, and we are all graduating [Let's ignore the fact that I'm doing 1 more semester]. Somehow, Alicia was very concerned whether we will meet up after we get out of polytechnic. True, friendships are fragile, but I think we will maintain it somehow. LOL
I suggested to go to the zoo and they seems pretty ok with it. Alicia even suggests going Night Safari too. Ha. So, we did. Took lots of pictures, lots of fun and laughters. :) It's definitely better than staying home playing dota none stop. =/ The day before the trip, at Edomondo's place, we were doing that. Kinda frustrating as we kept losing. Little kids are pawning us!
:D Yup. Next times
Alicia even made a powerpoint presentation for it. :D Private stuffs, come my place and I will show you.
Yeah, Alicia, Vinvin and Hao decide to go out as a group that day. It's after exam, and we are all graduating [Let's ignore the fact that I'm doing 1 more semester]. Somehow, Alicia was very concerned whether we will meet up after we get out of polytechnic. True, friendships are fragile, but I think we will maintain it somehow. LOL
I suggested to go to the zoo and they seems pretty ok with it. Alicia even suggests going Night Safari too. Ha. So, we did. Took lots of pictures, lots of fun and laughters. :) It's definitely better than staying home playing dota none stop. =/ The day before the trip, at Edomondo's place, we were doing that. Kinda frustrating as we kept losing. Little kids are pawning us!
:D Yup. Next times
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Ah, new day.. Ok, guess all my friends in polytechnic are going to their next phase of life. NS, Uni, or work? I still have one more semester to go. Regrets inevitable.
Anyway, waiting for my results now. LiangK smsed me that I passed. He really takes care of me. Heh. Nice lecturer.
Hey, if you haven't notice, there's this baby egg at the main page of my blog. Help me level it up? :D
Playing Fiesta due to the coercing of my friend. Uh Ok.
Pretty much the same, feel like going out for some bball.
Anyway, waiting for my results now. LiangK smsed me that I passed. He really takes care of me. Heh. Nice lecturer.
Hey, if you haven't notice, there's this baby egg at the main page of my blog. Help me level it up? :D
Playing Fiesta due to the coercing of my friend. Uh Ok.
Pretty much the same, feel like going out for some bball.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Okay, examinations over now. I wonder when my attachment is coming. Weird.
Stayed over at VinVin's place last night, after playing rounds and rounds of dota. Sucks. Hate losing, but oh well. Ate breakfast at KFC, then went home to shower and rest. Ended up watching animes.
Allen Walker is cool. :P
Alright, went down to Sembawang to play some bball with Leo's and his friend. OH MY GOD. THE BASKETBALL COURTS THERE ARE SO COOL. THERE'S NO ONE THERE. Shucks. Ended up wasting my time playing with small kids and we lost. :P I don't wanna hurt them. =X
Anyway, today is ending in around a minute or so. And I'm going to start work again. The break was nice, but costly. So, Goodnight.
Stayed over at VinVin's place last night, after playing rounds and rounds of dota. Sucks. Hate losing, but oh well. Ate breakfast at KFC, then went home to shower and rest. Ended up watching animes.
Allen Walker is cool. :P
Alright, went down to Sembawang to play some bball with Leo's and his friend. OH MY GOD. THE BASKETBALL COURTS THERE ARE SO COOL. THERE'S NO ONE THERE. Shucks. Ended up wasting my time playing with small kids and we lost. :P I don't wanna hurt them. =X
Anyway, today is ending in around a minute or so. And I'm going to start work again. The break was nice, but costly. So, Goodnight.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Oh yeah.. being some time since I wrote something here. Kinda busy lately, exam, CNY , and etc.
Yup. About my previous entry, yup. That was the end. Nothing nice to write, unless if you wanna talk about the 25 ants that I ran over, or the 3 blind mices that was squashed, or the big bad wolf that was hospitalized after being hit by me?
Right.
Anyway, CNY. Cool. Food. Food. Food. Drinks. Drinks. Drinks. Fat. Fat. Fat. Lots of chocolate out there tempting me. Vanhouten, Rocher, Herseys, and some other expensive ones. DUDE! WHY IS THERE SO MANY CHOCOLATES OUT THERE? I THOUGHT THERE SHOULD BE MORE BAK QWA?!
Nevertheless, it was fun. Hong-bao moneh was in minute amount but it should be able to sustain me not working for the time being.
Anyway, there's alot of good looking girls out there. Geez. (random remark)
Just ton at polar place yesterday, sorta like a CNY dota celebration. - - JW and takki. Oh well Tired. I should take some rest.
Seeya.
Yup. About my previous entry, yup. That was the end. Nothing nice to write, unless if you wanna talk about the 25 ants that I ran over, or the 3 blind mices that was squashed, or the big bad wolf that was hospitalized after being hit by me?
Right.
Anyway, CNY. Cool. Food. Food. Food. Drinks. Drinks. Drinks. Fat. Fat. Fat. Lots of chocolate out there tempting me. Vanhouten, Rocher, Herseys, and some other expensive ones. DUDE! WHY IS THERE SO MANY CHOCOLATES OUT THERE? I THOUGHT THERE SHOULD BE MORE BAK QWA?!
Nevertheless, it was fun. Hong-bao moneh was in minute amount but it should be able to sustain me not working for the time being.
Anyway, there's alot of good looking girls out there. Geez. (random remark)
Just ton at polar place yesterday, sorta like a CNY dota celebration. - - JW and takki. Oh well Tired. I should take some rest.
Seeya.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Friday Chalet was fun. :D Lots of foods. Lots of it.
Peiying, Brenda, Anthony, Lynn and Feng Tao was there when me, Leo, Ben and Polar reached the pit. Cool. Peiying looked gorgeous that day. :P First time seeing her wearing something else other than gi? Somehow, after Ben reached, they stopped cooking. Sadly. But we got to eat some of the chicken breast that they bbq-ed.
Ben took over, and well, not bad either. Crayfishs, soft shell crabs, chicken breasts and other etc. Dammit. I want more crayfishs. And I brought Dry Gin to share, somehow Lynn got abit high. The usual get together session, and stuffs. And some "childish" gun shooting, should had just use a knife and stab someone. Well, it is on my to-do list now.
Pei Ying and Brenda left around 10.30am. Ivy was told to stay over by her mom. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that she arrived after us. Had fun with GH3, walking around, and stuffs. Anyway, thanks Ivy for being around. I thought of more stuffs.
So, Anthony had his birthday cake and song. And the rest played and played. From this, I know I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings and people. Cause I couldn't write anything else.
All ended in the morning. Ivy pang seh me =/. I woke up from the little nap I had, and got to know alot of stuffs I missed. Lots of stuffs that even I thought wasn't important. It started to think more. Haha.
I lost alot. I really did. I didn't appreciate what people gave to me too. Wasn't really that meticulous as I thought I were.
Worked as usual. Nice working environment. Bleah. Ended. Monday 12am now. What a waste of time. I'm still thinking and searching for a light in my life.
Peiying, Brenda, Anthony, Lynn and Feng Tao was there when me, Leo, Ben and Polar reached the pit. Cool. Peiying looked gorgeous that day. :P First time seeing her wearing something else other than gi? Somehow, after Ben reached, they stopped cooking. Sadly. But we got to eat some of the chicken breast that they bbq-ed.
Ben took over, and well, not bad either. Crayfishs, soft shell crabs, chicken breasts and other etc. Dammit. I want more crayfishs. And I brought Dry Gin to share, somehow Lynn got abit high. The usual get together session, and stuffs. And some "childish" gun shooting, should had just use a knife and stab someone. Well, it is on my to-do list now.
Pei Ying and Brenda left around 10.30am. Ivy was told to stay over by her mom. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that she arrived after us. Had fun with GH3, walking around, and stuffs. Anyway, thanks Ivy for being around. I thought of more stuffs.
So, Anthony had his birthday cake and song. And the rest played and played. From this, I know I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings and people. Cause I couldn't write anything else.
All ended in the morning. Ivy pang seh me =/. I woke up from the little nap I had, and got to know alot of stuffs I missed. Lots of stuffs that even I thought wasn't important. It started to think more. Haha.
I lost alot. I really did. I didn't appreciate what people gave to me too. Wasn't really that meticulous as I thought I were.
Worked as usual. Nice working environment. Bleah. Ended. Monday 12am now. What a waste of time. I'm still thinking and searching for a light in my life.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Come on, give me a tag if you are reading. I'm sure you know how to go to the tagboard with the link that is just beside of the link that lead you here.
Cool. Well, nothing much is happening, without considering that the final tests are just around the corner, overspending, Valentines' Day, Lunar New Year, working, hanging out with pals, playing games, NOT going to lessons, overeating, procrastinating, not getting slimmer, blaming life, and there's really nothing else to do.
Today, hanged around in school after school to help Alicia with her scalpel modelling. I found out that she is still VERY angry/frustated/unable to stand/hateful/ZOMFGWTFBBQ with Leo. Sigh, Why do I have multiple gal pals that can't stand some of my guy friends? Sigh Sigh Sigh. Forgive them please?
Anyway, I had also wanted to get a bicycle, but by the time I figured out something for Alicia's scalpel, I had to leave the lab after which me, Leo, VinVin and Hao went down to Kranji to have a budget nasi lemak, after which then we proceeded with my plan of going down to Marsiling to look for the shop, after which we found out that it had already closed for the day , after when on the way home, I met YangHeng who told me that Jiawen was playing bball at the court, so I went to play some bball with him and then after we went to get a drink before going home.
And so, that concluded my day.
I think I have pretty much given up on my emotional needs. Lets fill it up with the materialistic ones. :D Guess I'm just kidding about it. But it seems like it is really tough to be Okayasu.
BRB.
Cool. Well, nothing much is happening, without considering that the final tests are just around the corner, overspending, Valentines' Day, Lunar New Year, working, hanging out with pals, playing games, NOT going to lessons, overeating, procrastinating, not getting slimmer, blaming life, and there's really nothing else to do.
Today, hanged around in school after school to help Alicia with her scalpel modelling. I found out that she is still VERY angry/frustated/unable to stand/hateful/ZOMFGWTFBBQ with Leo. Sigh, Why do I have multiple gal pals that can't stand some of my guy friends? Sigh Sigh Sigh. Forgive them please?
Anyway, I had also wanted to get a bicycle, but by the time I figured out something for Alicia's scalpel, I had to leave the lab after which me, Leo, VinVin and Hao went down to Kranji to have a budget nasi lemak, after which then we proceeded with my plan of going down to Marsiling to look for the shop, after which we found out that it had already closed for the day , after when on the way home, I met YangHeng who told me that Jiawen was playing bball at the court, so I went to play some bball with him and then after we went to get a drink before going home.
And so, that concluded my day.
I think I have pretty much given up on my emotional needs. Lets fill it up with the materialistic ones. :D Guess I'm just kidding about it. But it seems like it is really tough to be Okayasu.
BRB.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Alright, updating. The aircraft game that I had been talking about is AfterBurner. Cool stuffs, I'm improving, but couldn't advance further than Innocent Sky without finishing 1 credit. Sigh.
Went to church on Friday with Alicia. The one beside Nativity. Smaller one? Punggol Park? Uh well. She booked with me 1 week in advance! I had to go! lol. O well. Come to think of it, I don't remember going to mass. I mean I do, but.. well, I don't remember what happen during then.
Uh, WELL. But, I still couldn't get a hold on what exactly that I want. For life that is. Sigh.
Anyway, there's some stuffs and things I want to do and get. [Am I contradicting myself? ]
Ha. I don't want die working. ALright, gotta get ready to sleep, HAVE to work.
Went to church on Friday with Alicia. The one beside Nativity. Smaller one? Punggol Park? Uh well. She booked with me 1 week in advance! I had to go! lol. O well. Come to think of it, I don't remember going to mass. I mean I do, but.. well, I don't remember what happen during then.
Uh, WELL. But, I still couldn't get a hold on what exactly that I want. For life that is. Sigh.
Anyway, there's some stuffs and things I want to do and get. [Am I contradicting myself? ]
Ha. I don't want die working. ALright, gotta get ready to sleep, HAVE to work.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Ah, enough with gloomy stuffs.
Went shooting ducks at the pasa malam at CWP with leo and polar. LoL. Kinda suck with zero calibration and bad shooting skills. Every shot is unique! wow~ So, we didn't win anything from the game. But well, I finally got a plushie for leo in the other game. Cleared 5 cans with 3 balls. :D Patrick plushie.
That was monday.
Today, went arcade after school with Alicia, Hao, and Vin who was with us spiritually. :D Bishi Bashi Training today. Kept playing that with them, while I play some other games like the aircraft game and zaku II.
XD. Alright. Sleep
Went shooting ducks at the pasa malam at CWP with leo and polar. LoL. Kinda suck with zero calibration and bad shooting skills. Every shot is unique! wow~ So, we didn't win anything from the game. But well, I finally got a plushie for leo in the other game. Cleared 5 cans with 3 balls. :D Patrick plushie.
That was monday.
Today, went arcade after school with Alicia, Hao, and Vin who was with us spiritually. :D Bishi Bashi Training today. Kept playing that with them, while I play some other games like the aircraft game and zaku II.
XD. Alright. Sleep
Monday, January 14, 2008
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Ah, Sat work again. Becoming a part of my life. I think I'm working more regularly than attending school now.
What's the point... at least I don't sleep at much in class now. I think. Future seems so... future to me. I really can't imagine what would I be doing.. at all. Looking at the crowds move, when I'm working, really get me thinking.
I would be thinking. Alot. Where did all these people come from... Do I have a reason to be meeting them? interacting with them? or whatever should I be doing? I kept seeing events that I felt that I had saw before. Memories that I had, somewhere, sometime. It feels unreal, yet.. uh.. Somehow I don't feel real anymore. Can it be that what I'm experiencing now as my 'life' is just part of my imagination, an elaborated dream?
Sigh. It makes me tired. Perhaps it's just my way of running away from life.
My feelings are messing up too. Looking at couples shopping for their new home. I would be wondering about their lifes. How would it be? Different from mine? Different from one and other? Came out with a thought halfway through today's work. I don't want to settle down like them yet. I still want to play around. [If I know how. :D]
No. Not exactly playing around. But, to experiencing more. Kinda feel that my previous relationships were pretty empty. I wasn't working hard for any of them. [ or did I? ] I can't remember at all. Fading memories. But then again, why would I?
What am I anyway? What do my friends think of me? ... Am I part of their lives or just a passerby? My friends are probably just my imaginations of my life which is all but my dream.
2am Sunday.
Signing off then. Make me feel alive.
What's the point... at least I don't sleep at much in class now. I think. Future seems so... future to me. I really can't imagine what would I be doing.. at all. Looking at the crowds move, when I'm working, really get me thinking.
I would be thinking. Alot. Where did all these people come from... Do I have a reason to be meeting them? interacting with them? or whatever should I be doing? I kept seeing events that I felt that I had saw before. Memories that I had, somewhere, sometime. It feels unreal, yet.. uh.. Somehow I don't feel real anymore. Can it be that what I'm experiencing now as my 'life' is just part of my imagination, an elaborated dream?
Sigh. It makes me tired. Perhaps it's just my way of running away from life.
My feelings are messing up too. Looking at couples shopping for their new home. I would be wondering about their lifes. How would it be? Different from mine? Different from one and other? Came out with a thought halfway through today's work. I don't want to settle down like them yet. I still want to play around. [If I know how. :D]
No. Not exactly playing around. But, to experiencing more. Kinda feel that my previous relationships were pretty empty. I wasn't working hard for any of them. [ or did I? ] I can't remember at all. Fading memories. But then again, why would I?
What am I anyway? What do my friends think of me? ... Am I part of their lives or just a passerby? My friends are probably just my imaginations of my life which is all but my dream.
2am Sunday.
Signing off then. Make me feel alive.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Keeping my posts short and sweet.
Finished with a few short anime series. Shuffle, Sola, Peach Girl, Yoake Crescent Love... Uh. Ok Fine. All the kiddy love anime. :D They are kinda fun to watch, and it is funny. At least better than Hi 5.
Simple stories. But they can get you touched. Maybe it is rare to see this "simple" stories happening in real life.
Uh, I need to control my spendings. Guess I used up more than 200 in just a fortnight. Gosh. On things that you can't see, or that you can see but utterly useless. [ those frigging plushies =D ]
Uh, well, they are therapeutic.
My thoughts. Locking up in myself again. Even I couldn't understand. This world that I live in, why am I here? Do I have a purpose? Who are all these people who I had never seen before that I saw today? Why am I thinking about all this? -Locked-
Ah, bullz. Life's simpler this way.
More, I have more.
Bye my blog.
Finished with a few short anime series. Shuffle, Sola, Peach Girl, Yoake Crescent Love... Uh. Ok Fine. All the kiddy love anime. :D They are kinda fun to watch, and it is funny. At least better than Hi 5.
Simple stories. But they can get you touched. Maybe it is rare to see this "simple" stories happening in real life.
Uh, I need to control my spendings. Guess I used up more than 200 in just a fortnight. Gosh. On things that you can't see, or that you can see but utterly useless. [ those frigging plushies =D ]
Uh, well, they are therapeutic.
My thoughts. Locking up in myself again. Even I couldn't understand. This world that I live in, why am I here? Do I have a purpose? Who are all these people who I had never seen before that I saw today? Why am I thinking about all this? -Locked-
Ah, bullz. Life's simpler this way.
More, I have more.
Bye my blog.
Monday, January 07, 2008
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
1st Jan. WoW. All I do for today is sleep. Seriously, I fell asleep last night around 4am watching D.Gray Man. Got up for a shower at 10, after which I fell asleep again.
Somehow it is already 12.30am now. 2nd Jan. Wow. Good rest for my body and soul, I think.
Life is going back to the boring self again. But it will prolly get busier with school resuming today.
Getting my pay soon. Sigh. It kind of gets me thinking why am I working for. 3 months had passed already since I started working. Sigh. If life's like this when I leave school, I will probably feel lost.
Working to keep ourselves alive by using the money we get to buy food to feed ourselves. If everyone just keep themselves alive by growing food themselves, will the world be different?
Very different perhaps.
Bye.
Somehow it is already 12.30am now. 2nd Jan. Wow. Good rest for my body and soul, I think.
Life is going back to the boring self again. But it will prolly get busier with school resuming today.
Getting my pay soon. Sigh. It kind of gets me thinking why am I working for. 3 months had passed already since I started working. Sigh. If life's like this when I leave school, I will probably feel lost.
Working to keep ourselves alive by using the money we get to buy food to feed ourselves. If everyone just keep themselves alive by growing food themselves, will the world be different?
Very different perhaps.
Bye.
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