Wednesday 30th July 2008 11:52pm

Well, I felt like crap again today. Why...? Am I getting ignored? Or am I just paranoid? It is moments like this that make me regret what I say, even though I thought I have thought it true properly.

Maybe I'm just tired. Basketball is fun and all, but my heart tells me to win every matches. I just can't play "for fun" without feeling bad afterwards.

That's all I'm gonna say today. The void is getting serious. It kinda hurt now.

Ciaos.

Sunday 27th July 2008 9:55 pm

Well, it had been almost a week since I blogged. My FYP finally started. Truly started. I mean, I'm supposed to run 12000 cycles now and take more than 500 pictures for documentation. I haven't even start recording the data. OMG. Sigh, so much for slacking for so long. Ha. But I'm still falling asleep nevertheless. But I managed to do 700 cycles in 1 day. So, that leaves me with 11300 cycles in 15 days, which I also have to prepare a report and presentation. Yada yada, gotta work harder this week.

Anyhow, I just came back from bball. I got to know this group of WGS students through my brother last week, and I have been playing with them everyday. Somehow, it isn't that bad playing with younger people. At least they are more active than my group of friends. I really cba to call them out to play anymore. They won't even answer my call, or just reject it in some manner.

^^ Fun. Alright. I shall sleep early today. I hope. :)

10:27 ... I took a shower. :P

Monday 21st July 2008 3:20 pm

I'm feeling tired today. I slept early yesterday.. erm.. 1:00 sth am. hehehe.. Broke my own rule. Argh. At least I didn't force myself to stay awake to look after my game. :) So I received a msg from choco cookies early in the morning, which caused me to be on time at FYP today. Wow? Haha

But if I reach on time to sleep in the lab, I rather sleep at home? Sigh. I don't think my lecturer will approve either way. Thumb of rule : Sleep earlier. F EH!

Alright, so in the sleepy morning, Sun and Mary came to have lunch/breakfast with me at 11am. Went down to AMK hawker centre to eat. The wanton mee there is zomgwtfbbq tasteless. Mary bought from one store which serve cooled soup, average mee with lots of 'dark colour' sauce while I got one from another which served hot soup, tasteless mee with minimal sauce. - - Ok. So they were bad. Fortunately, I ordered carrot cake for us to share, at least our tastebuds survived. Sun ate the hokkien mee, which I think, is acceptable for hawker price. =X

Then we went to AMK Hub to play at the arcade. We challenged each other to basketball shooting machine, which both of them died in stage 2 with <90 points. Hehehe, I will be humbled enough not to type my own score here. :) Then we played Daytona which is like WTF? I lose? AGAIN? Yeah. I suck at that. - - Sigh. No matter how hard I tried to use the brake, change gear etc etc. I lost to 2 automatic cars. Managed to beat them the last time on Advanced map. - -

We also played the big drum machine again, which I'm the one saving them by managing to pass each stage when they fail. =P After that, it was Afterburner solo for me. I ended up attracting lots of attentions from a bunch of guys. They kinda crowded behind me. - -? Erm, I only managed to reach Innocent Land with 1 credit laaa. Sigh. I can complete the game with 2 credits. It is back to the basketball machine then which I think I attracted some more attention from more guys. Hehe?

Anyway, yeah. I need to get on with my FYP. Sigh. Lots of things to plan, and my lecturer isn't going easy on me. :)

So, Ciaos.

Sunday 20th July 2008 6:35 pm

Alright. A week has passed again. 4 more weeks till my FYP ends. I managed to prevent myself from failing my National Education. -_-" I have to do one assignment to make up for the missed trip. Good deal eh? :)

Not been going out to jog lately. -_- F EH gaming! I need to moderate it seriously. It kinda loses control every time I start playing. This whole day I have been sitting down in front of my computer, looking at my web based game going on. I don't know what else to do. Game eh? I actually have to find stuffs to do. And DoTA isn't what I want to do today.

I guess I'm starting to like those games that is long term and don't actually last just one hour. It is kinda like RL where you actually work towards a goal, instead of short thrills or profit. [ RL = Real Life ]

Alright. Now for some rules for myself. 1. Sleep before 12am. - - Wow. I hope this would work seriously. I'm tired of waking up tired. Period. [ Thus I'm always late? ] 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Ok. Failed at thinking of more. I shall go out and play some more bball today. Good weather. Hope it will lift my spirit a bit. Heh.

Ciaos

6:53 pm

- Don't feel like putting in the date and time today -

I can't help but to feel lost and defeated. Low self-esteem and morale is kicking in, I guess. Playing games allow me to stop thinking about myself, and concentrate as another being. Winning feels better than anything, but it gets me addicted and hunger for more. Losing makes me feel that I am what I think I am. Accepting defeat, not putting up any fight. I'm losing sight of any goal, I will live better blinded.

I feel like I'm being split apart. One is crying out loud, seeking for attention. The other wants to be left alone, prefered to be unseen. One wants to accomplish stuffs, the other just wants to see the end. One wants to be touched within, the other heighten the wall.

- Negativity ends -

Sighing off from FYP.

Sunday 6th July 2008 , 10:18 pm

Alright, feeling sick at the moment. F EH! Shouldn't drink when you are sick. Headache + running nose, and a little tad of sleeplessness. Couldn't go for bball and dinner in the end. Sorry JW and KS. Haha

Being 2 weeks since I blogged, stuffs happened. Work work, presentation. All and all.

I don't know what I should blog anyway. Cooped everything up, and no one knows.

Ciaos