=]

Am I really emotionless? Unfeeling?

What is wrong with us? We were still playing game together happily. Til something in the game made her angry. I couldnt stand her attitude and talked to her harshly. Quarrelled. Being like this. This process just repeats itself on different events everyday. Smile, laugh, quarrel, cry. Becomes a routine. I couldn't stand it. I started being harsh on her attitude.

She let me know that it was my irresponsbility that made her stop being nice to me when I do things wrong. Thus her attitude. So, it was my fault. Ultimately, it strains the relationship. I hate it. I'm a carefree person. She don't like it. Too carefree she says. No plan, no goals. No emotions.

There was one time, her manager at hotel dont like her, thus stop her from working. She was sad. She called me. She started crying. I told her to stop crying. Stop crying for that bastard manager. She shouldnt cry. She got very angry with me. She says she just want someone to listen to her. She is sad. She want someone to comfort her, not to tell her to stop crying. She feels that I'm not doing my part as a BF. I told her it is ok to lose that job since it has a F-up manager. She says it is hard to find a job and a job that she likes.

I was stumped. I don't know what to do. Apologising wont help. Was I wrong? Was I really wrong? Am I that bad as a BF? I was at a loss. It happens all the time. Our characters.. Who should be the one changing? Both of us blame it on our characters. She hope I will change.

If it is that easy. Changing someone's character. 5 tears. Why won't she change then? Am I selfish? Why do I feel that she's selfish too? Aren't we all selfish?

Counting my tears. Why would I be tearing now.. when I didnt even shed one yesterday.. Countable tears.. so little.. Maybe I'm really emotionless. Oblivious..

Blog.

Seems like it happened. At least I won't make her cry for my irresponsbility anymore. I don't want to ask her back to hurt her again. Let her go.

My character...

Will I change?

Uncertain of what to do now. Prevented it from happening so many times. Hurt her that many times. My little acts that which I think was alright, hurt her so much. It's not on purpose, but it's still caused by me. Caused so naturally. Am I wrong? Where am I wrong? Why can't I feel that I'm wrong? She had told me so many times. I said sorry that many times. But I never change.

Maybe it's still the best to let her go. She's giving more than I can return.

2 drops of tears. I'm still not good enough for her.

Hmm. again. 3rd post of the day. It rained. =D I fell alseep. And well.. as I thought.. i couldnt hand up marketing report.. so im pretty depressed. but What could I do.. there was no miracle. =D

Sleepish. Crappish. Damm my bro's BOA songs. go away.

Wait. Im back here again. Yeah. from reading blogs. wtf is with ruo ying blog.. someone took over and use some hidden languages or codes? valerie's not working.. polar going fine..

I think Polar is the only readable blog on my links. For me at the very least.

Sad. Whats with me. The urge to blog again.

Noooooooooooooooooooo.

Bye.

CNY

CNY! Shortforms for the win. =D

Was down for dengue a few days ago. for a few days. Pretty new experience. TOo bad it wasnt a life-and-death experience, if not I may treasure stuffs more. =D

Wait. what should I write. Im bored. I was late for blogging this entry. told someone that I had blogged a few nights ago. HA! GOT WAIT?

Not sure what to type. Good morning. 6.33am. maybe i should go to sleep. =D

Sigh. Dont think I could hand up my marketing report now. =( oh whatever. Sleepz FTW