Ah, Sat work again. Becoming a part of my life. I think I'm working more regularly than attending school now.

What's the point... at least I don't sleep at much in class now. I think. Future seems so... future to me. I really can't imagine what would I be doing.. at all. Looking at the crowds move, when I'm working, really get me thinking.

I would be thinking. Alot. Where did all these people come from... Do I have a reason to be meeting them? interacting with them? or whatever should I be doing? I kept seeing events that I felt that I had saw before. Memories that I had, somewhere, sometime. It feels unreal, yet.. uh.. Somehow I don't feel real anymore. Can it be that what I'm experiencing now as my 'life' is just part of my imagination, an elaborated dream?

Sigh. It makes me tired. Perhaps it's just my way of running away from life.

My feelings are messing up too. Looking at couples shopping for their new home. I would be wondering about their lifes. How would it be? Different from mine? Different from one and other? Came out with a thought halfway through today's work. I don't want to settle down like them yet. I still want to play around. [If I know how. :D]

No. Not exactly playing around. But, to experiencing more. Kinda feel that my previous relationships were pretty empty. I wasn't working hard for any of them. [ or did I? ] I can't remember at all. Fading memories. But then again, why would I?

What am I anyway? What do my friends think of me? ... Am I part of their lives or just a passerby? My friends are probably just my imaginations of my life which is all but my dream.

2am Sunday.

Signing off then. Make me feel alive.