thurs nite

Haha, guess I had been too free today. Took a whole day of rest. Only to find nothing to do at home. Terrible feeling. Start to miss her again at night. haha. Nvm. This will go. Judo training drained too much yesterday. =) I wanna go for Judo on Friday again. Being busy, would be just fine. =)

Being too free sorta set me on fucked up mood. I wanna snap. I wanna.. and I wanna... and.. blahs. Secrets again. =)

Why do I feel like I cant find something to talk about. With... anyone at all. Except for zhaohan, takki for dota.. starting to feel drained emotionally when I strain myself to find a topic. No. I don't know. Feel like isolating once again. No.

Don't dare to express anything. Don't dare to do anything. Don't dare to ask anything. Don't want to change anything. I'm not brave enough, to confront with the consequences. Failures make me fear. I think I'm worn out, again.

I joked to cover up. I lied to hide. I can't run because I don't know where to go. I...

hahaz =) aloha.