Alright, just got back from work. LoL. Cool boring stuffs at work. =] Dammit. Doing sales is crappy with sales.

Anyway, still thinking of her. Gosh. =/ But still ogling at girls during work today. So many pretty faces and hot bods. What am I supposed to do? =P

So darn bored. Anyway, met up with polar after work. Ok, didn't do anything but... lol. Meet for fun lor, nice to crap abit now and then.

And, so many things to do with my friends too. Like meeting up with Jessica to play basketball sometime soon. Bringing Alicia to see some sofas at V.Hive. Erm.. and.. can't remember. LoL. Now I have all the time in my world, need to plan it. =)

Oh yeah, I didn't mention that I'm working at V.Hive furniture shop, did I? Haha, come find me if you need a new wardrobe, bed or a boyfriend. =P

Ciaoss

Haha, She just told me to go meet her someday to get back my clothings that are left over at her place. And She isn't home too. Out with her new bf. Somehow, this didn't get me angry. Finally put myself at ease.

Was confused for a moment. Wanted to go back to ask her like I did the other time with Jasmine. Perhaps I did wrongly the other time. It was obvious. I worried too much. I should had been more .... suave...[ is it the right word to use] when dealing with matters of heart.

It had always been like this. I can always tell my friends to break up when I know that something is wrong between them. But I couldn't do it myself. I'm reluctant. I'm worried that I might hurt them. I want to take up responsiblity even though I know I couldn't do it.

Perhaps I'm wrong all along. I'm not being emo about it. Finally found someone who I can talk this with. He managed to open my mind. And I believed. I know I'm not good enough. And I need more confidence.

Ok. Wait. I didn't mean He. LoooL. Not God for Heaven's sake. =P

Sidetracked. -_-"

=) Finally at ease. My heart isn't swaying.

Metamorphosis.

Oh, currently sitting outside of the tutorial room waiting for my friend

I'm bored. lol. Forgot to bring my hp again today. Geez. Crappy memories. Anyway I was trying to reach for my ring on my middle finger today without me realising it. Ha.. My body still haven't get use to the break up. =P

Like how I'm not used to wearing watches. Still wearing the Levis watch she gifted me.

O.O Surprised that you still remember me. =) Nevertheless, nice to "see" you again, after so long. Fuzzy memories came back, haha thanks for reminding me. Guessed I forget to remember the good times more than the bad. No wonder I'm so emo.

Ok. Emo isn't such a good word to use. LoL.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=emo

Pretty funny explaination and well, I didn't know it's a type of music. LoL

Starting to feel better already. Still think of her now and then, but she has the right to choose anyway. I will just stand back like I had always been.

I can also use the time to concentrate more on my studies, though not that useful now. -_- regret thinking that grades don't matter til the final years. How immature. I can also concentrate on getting myself back to working order. LoL

Body been malfunctioning. I mean.... I can't even run 1 km without sweating? This is not me, and I had been blaming it alot on life. LoL Emo syndrome. Have to make it work myself.

Retarded Polardevil today tempted me off Judo today. =] lol, ton a night over at his place, am tired anyway. Perhaps will go for a game of bball, with my bro. Gundam Jeremy. =) LOOOOOOOL

Thanks Jasmine for dropping by, leave more comments when you do again. This is a lonely emo blog. =P

Ciaos

Why am I contradicting myself? Whenever I say not to think of her, I would be thinking of her at the moment I write this down, and it will be with me for the next hour.

Is this reliance or love? I couldn't differentiate it anymore. Integrate it then. =/ Jokes. Trying to make myself smile, it works when I'm with peeps. Trying to be funny. Trying to forget. Trying to change.

Still, I feel the same emptiness. And everything will be over when I stop writing about her on here. Somehow, I don't want it to go that way. But, I couldn't give myself a definite answer.

EMO.

Putting it away, it is me who you see. I guess no one was able to read me at all.
-----------------------------------

I went for class miraclously... is that right... on time. LoL Was expecting Mr Vinnp, as I rmb him saying he would be taking us. But it's ok, I don't hate LK. Just abit full of himself when he explains stuffs. Time passed quickly, and after that I met up with Polar.

Went back together, had lunch at Pastemania. Went to find a bag. Failed. Went to timezone for some gaming. Boring. I really hate timezone for limiting their bball machine to only 4 balls. I have to wait so long for the ball to roll back. = = Few games of pinball then I left for a haircut. Polar went home with my bag first. Went there after my haircut for some gaming fun. Leo came. Sweet. Dad and Mom asked me to go down for dinner and then I'm here after settling my private stuffs.

LoL, I have to post something normal. =)

Alright.. Ciaos

I'm feeling better now. At least I think so. Had a new haircut. ZOMG dorky. Sigh. Really not suitable for my FAT build now. Trying not to think so much about her, but every now and then, I would be feeling my middle finger for the ring that I had wore for so long.

Anyway, went to look for a nice backpack today. but, sigh.. I think I'm too fat for any backpack to look nice on me. Really dont wanna use a sling bag, cause it stinks my chest. =D

Sigh. Alright. Signing off.

Broke up on the 15th. Talked through it with her though she is the one who suggested it.

Well, its the 17th now, didn't sms once or call. I should let it go then. I wonder why am I still worrying about her. She got 2 other guys actively on her tail, and she is out with them late at night at the arcade when she is supposed to be having a curfew. Alright, let it go Oblivious. It is for her, to let her become happier cause you couldn't do it. Just hope she won't do anything foolish.

Oblivious. Have I mentioned about metamorphosis? Planning to use it as my new nick/motto. Oblivious. Yeah, I really need the metamorphosis. Couldn't be the same anymore.

Had not told alot of my friends or even my family about it. Maybe there isn't a need to. But it feels weird when my friends ask me why she didn't come, or didn't follow me.. or anything related with her. Guess I really spent alot of time with her without me noticing it. I lied to them that she's working. And I didn't expect her to be outside at arcade when I call her at 10pm. I feel bitter. Wanted to send her a sms full of sarcasm, wishing her happiness with her new life.

But, alright.. I'm not that much of a loser. It hurts knowing that my 17 mths relationship is really over. I need to adapt again. I really don't hope to get into a relationship again too soon. I'm certain that I would not be able to do much for "her", empty promises, fading love. After that it will end again.

If I really love her enough, I wouldn't had let her go.

For the last time,
Yaya.. I loved you.

Having some changes now. Am I emo? geez. Oh well, my temper isn't really good nowadays. Awfully bad. To someone. I wonder why. Sigh.

Im teh lozer.

Metamorphsis

Well, done fixing my tagboard, AGAIN. Dying due to in activeness...well, can't anyone of you help me do that? And I see my report still on the previous entry. Had to do that due to hotmail's timely break down in service.. - -? Gonna remove it soon, if not.. I think the other BME studs will start finding my blog due to google search on their next reports. Cool Eh? =)

Start working again nowadays, Cool. Having a income again, which means I can buy more stuffs...... for myself hopefully. Lawl. Why m I blogging... oh yea, gonna find a new skin.. or make one.. if I wanna learn that is... HTML SUCKS! cause I'm bitter that I don't know. It applies for Guitar Heros, Drummania, DDR and Keyboardmania. =P Bah!

Keeping myself busy is better than feeling lost. Working rocks. Game sucks, but got to know a new girl. ZOMG. Cousin of friend, what a small Earth... or.. Virtual world?

Abstract

Non-conventional MEMs Processes

Micro-stereo lithography

Micro-stereo lithography (mSL) has been developed to produce highly precise, three-dimensional (3D) microstructures from broad selection of functional materials, especially biocompatible materials. In principle, mSL utilizes focused light to scan over the surface of a photo-curable resin, which undergoes photo-polymerization and forms solid microstructures. The mSL fabricated devices, containing complex engineered microstructures which are covered with self-assembled functional groups, can work as a unique interface between the nanometer scale functional group and Marco-scale bio-medical samples, therefore can find applications in Bio-MEMS.

The MSL system and the principle of operation

.

Sol-gel Coating

The sol-gel process is a wet-chemical technique for the fabrication of materials starting from a chemical solution that reacts to produce colloidal particles (sol). Typical precursors are metal alkoxides and metal chlorides, which undergo hydrolysis and poly-condensation reactions to form a colloid, a system composed of solid particles (size ranging from 1 nm to 1 μm) dispersed in a solvent. The sol then form an inorganic network containing a liquid phase (gel). Formation of a metal oxide involves connecting the metal centers with oxo (M-O-M) or hydroxo (M-OH-M) bridges, therefore generating metal-oxo or metal-hydroxo polymers in solution. Drying process serves to remove the liquid phase from the gel thus forming a porous material, then a thermal treatment may be performed in order to favor further polycondensation and enhance mechanical properties.

The applications for sol gel-derived products are numerous. One of the largest application areas is thin film, which can be produced on a piece of substrate by spin-coating or dip-coating. Other methods include spraying, electrophoresis, inkjet printing or roll coating. Optical coatings, protective and decorative coatings, and electro-optic components can be applied to glass, metal and other types of substrates with these methods.

Cast into a mold, and with further drying and heat-treatment, dense ceramic or glass articles with novel properties can be formed that cannot be created by any other method.

Nanoimprint lithography

It is a novel method of fabricating nanometer scale patterns. It is a simple process with low cost, high throughput and high resolution. It creates patterns by mechanical deformation of imprint resist and subsequent processes. The imprint resist is typically a monomer or polymer formulation that is cured by heat or UV light during the imprinting. Adhesion between the resist and the template is controlled to allow proper release.

Thermoplastic nanoimprint lithography

Thermoplastic Nanoimprint lithography (T-NIL) is the earliest nanoimprint lithography developed by Professor Stephen Y. Chou's group. In a standard T-NIL process, a thin layer of imprint resist (thermoplastic polymer) is spin coated onto the sample substrate. Then the mold, which has predefined topological patterns, is brought into contact with the sample and they are pressed together under certain pressure. When heated up above the glass transition temperature of the polymer, the pattern on the mold is pressed into the melt polymer film. After being cooled down, the mold is separated from the sample and the pattern resist is left on the substrate. A pattern transfer process (Reactive Ion Etching, normally) can be used to transfer the pattern in the resist to the underneath substrate.

Photo nanoimprint lithography

In Photo Nanoimprint Lithography (P-NIL), a photo(UV) curable liquid resist is applied to the sample substrate and the mold is normally made of transparent material like fused silica. After the mold and the substrate are pressed together, the resist is cured in UV light and becomes solid. After mold separation, a similar pattern transfer process can be used to transfer the pattern in resist onto the underneath material.

Electrochemical nanoimprinting

Electrochemical nanoimprinting can be achieved using a stamp made from a superionic conductor such as silver sulfide. When the stamp is contacted with metal, electrochemical etching can be carried out with an applied voltage. The electrochemical reaction generates metal ions which move from the original film into the stamp. Eventually all the metal is removed and the complementary stamp pattern is transferred to the remaining metal.

Laser Micro machining

Laser micro machining provides non-contact machining of very high resolution, repeatability and aspect ratios and can be fully automated

It can be controlled to do localized heating and requires minimal re-deposition.

The product normally requires no pre/post processing of material and could be done in a wide range of materials: fragile, ultra-thin and highly reflective surfaces

Ultra fast or Long

Ultra fast means that the laser pulse has a duration that is somewhat less that about 10 Pico seconds - usually some fraction of a Pico second (femtosecond). "Long" means that the pulse is longer than about 10 Pico seconds, that is, longer than the heat-diffusion time. These long pulse lasers may be continuous, quasi-continuous, or Q-switched, but in any case they are generating long pulses compared to the heat-diffusion time.

Laser Micromachining of Silicon: Fabricating THz Imaging Arrays

During fabrication of THz imaging arrays using laser micro machining of Silicon, the silicon substrate is contained in a flat vacuum cell under a slowly flowing ambient of chlorine. The thermal micro reactions of silicon in chlorine are chosen because of their speed. The chlorine ambient reacts with the silicon at temperatures near the melting point to form volatile silicon chlorides, which are pumped away from the surface . A ~1 micron³ of silicon is brought to just above its melting point by a focused, CW argon-ion laser operating at 488 nm wavelength. The (circularly polarized) beam is deflected in the x,y plane with a pair of computer-controlled galvos. A field size of 256 x 256 pixel elements can be addressed in random access speeds up to 5 x 10⁴ pixels/s, or in a raster mode up to 2.5 x 10⁶ pixels/s. The chlorine gas pressure, laser power, and scan rate are adjusted to give optimum surface quality. Waveguide surface roughness values measured with atomic force microscopy are typically on the order of 200 nm RMS. This surface quality is already sufficient to provide low-loss waveguide performance to > 10 THz. The RMS surface roughness can be reduced even further, to under 25 nm using standard polishing etch solutions. When necessary, multiple fields are stitched using a 4 inch travel x,y stage driven with stepper motors. Once the micromaching process is completed, gold is sputtered on the micromachined structure to make it conducting.

Laser bonding/Welding

The process involves using an interlayer of a mixture of two materials and reacting the materials with laser irradiation to form a thermally stable compound suitable for bonding the bodies together.

During LB process, a focused laser beam is transmitted through a transparent glass wafer and absorbed by the surface of an opaque silicon wafer. The absorbed laser energy melts a thin layer of the opaque substrate as well as the transparent material near the interface. This melting results in the formation of a strong chemical bond. In the present study, a LB workstation with the necessary apparatus was developed for experimentally establishing the correlation of the bonding process and its material parameters with the resulting quality of the bond. The parameters of contact pressure, surface roughness, the thickness of the intermediate oxide layer and bonding geometry were examined for their influence on the bond strength. The typical bond strength achieved by LB technique is 10 MPa. This strength, as measured by a tensile test, is comparable to the strength of bonds obtained using other major wafer bonding techniques including fusion bonding and anodic bonding. The bonded interfaces were analyzed using Auger electron spectroscopy (AES) and X-ray photoelectron spectroscopy (XPS) to define the mechanism of the wafer bonding through evaluation of the migration and diffusion of different atoms among the glass and silicon substrates during the bonding process. The main advantage of using the LB technique is that the bonding process can be performed at room temperature with a relatively low contact pressure and a reduced bonding time. There is also no need of applying a high electrical potential. TLB can be easily integrated into an existing semiconductor production line without adding a vacuum environment.

Conclusion

Reference

www.wikipedia.org

Mae.fulton.asu.edu/files/shared/graduate/Jong-SuengParkSpr06.doc

Biomems.uta.edu/Research/LaserPoster_files/FemtoLaserPoster.ppt

http://soral.as.arizona.edu/micromachining.html

I'm feeling lost.

Ask me what I wanna do? What I wanna be?

I don't know. I really don't know. Just feel like idling the rest of my life away.

Nothing really interests me anymore.

I have no aim. From a long time ago? Now no motivation. No drive. No feeling. I'm indeed turning oblivious.

How much do I care?

Lost.

=]

Looking for a job. xD Anyone recommend me?

Happy Birthday Polar. Lol. Wow.. first thing I said after being away from blog for so so long.. Just nice eh? I couldnt remember until he said it. Sigh. I dont even remember my parents birthday, I have to be fair right?

Sigh. I think I love myself more than anything else. Selfish me. Why am I even saying this? Is there any links? LoL. W00t. The self reflection blog. AKA talking-to-self blog.

AH.. I forget what I wanted to write the past few days, as again I procrastinated and often sinking in my inferiority complex. W00t.

Inferiority complex due to my looks, weight, hair loss. Ahh... all belongs to the 'looks' category.

Why is it that I think I'm spending too much time with my gf that I don't have much of my own? Is it just me? I want freedom? Independance Day! Nah.. I just hope my gf could be more independent. Read some old mag lying around my bed. (ya my bed) Some articles about how girls can keep guys commited. Blablabla...

Cant blame her too. xD Im not Mr Nice guy anyway. Hahahahaha. I feel like exercising evryday, but I end school ard 6 everyday. She will be expecting me to go home to play game with her, or go her house to play with her, as well as watching 9pm serial.

To be serious, my eating habit remain pretty much the same, but I used to play basketball 24/7 even when I had have a gf. Ask polar. He knows, or at least his sister knows. Yea yea.. I'm still as selfish as ever. Fun more important than everything else eh?

Ok, back to myself.. I think love is so... LoL. To make me think I love you? Simple. Just break my heart and I will know. If not, I won't. If I feel nothing when you try, means.. you know. <-- this paragraph sucks.

I'm so bored with school. So boring. I keep saying to myself that, if I wanna study, no one can beat me. But I think this killed me. I really sucks now. Studies.. sigh. Just getting bad to worse. Why cant things be as interesting as when I'm still young.. like primary school? Is my self complanace (com-play-cent..WHATEVER) growing out of proportion of my real abilities? Or m I just lazy...? Skikamaru rocks, but he's a genius. I'm just slight abv avg in IQ. Polar isnt doing too well himself already. (His IQ higher than mine...as much as his fats =X [the difference is getting lesser {hey,this means im getting cleverer??}]) =D

Alright. Be back later. (the word 'later' works wonder, as there isnt a limit, unlike 'tomorrow')

Some time since I blogged.

Yaya broke her collar bone this wednesday during a rehearsal which she wasnt in the first place. I noticed her during the front part of the rehearsal, maybe I should had stopped her. But I didnt know such things could happen.

She in great pains this few days, as TTS wanted her to wait for a week til she can see a specialist. Her condition of the bone isnt that good already, why cant the hospital arrange the appointment some what earlier? So she do not need to go thru the pain and popping of useless painkillers. Maybe SGH could gave a better service.

Anyway, she is emotionly unstable this days. Regrets, and keep thinking that she is a disabled person now.. and that she will nv recover or last the 7 days of waiting. I do not know how to console her. Just hope that being around with her will make her feel better. 5 more days to go, hope everything will be fine. Muack Yaya, Jia you! =)

Back here again. Used to only come here when Im sad and depressed. Thus, feels abit weird that Im blogging now.

Actually Cant really remember what I had wanted to write a few days ago.

Went polar house to bai nian. The last day to get hong bao. YEAH~ It wasn't really fun, but still I enjoyed the friends' company. =) Sigh, once a year. Maybe not that long, but it's really hard to meet up. Well, at least for someone like me. Yeah, I can't be bothered to go organize all those stuffs. Not that I don't like, it is just that my irregular planning would probably end up in a bad plan anyway. =P

Oh! Xinyi and Subi got together. Shocked. >< Quite lar. Maybe I just don't know what type of guys Xinyi like, that's why I had feel abit shocked. Jason, was abit too. As long as she's happy bah. I have no rights to say anyone else.

Vexed. =) Seems to be going well still with yaling. Wonder how long can this last. Maybe I can't love something forever. Maybe. Who knows what's coming for us in the future? Maybe I had die. lol. Just found out that the syndrome for dengue was somehow like leukemia too. Rashes appear on skin... low platelet count. xD ha.. Luckily it wasnt leukemia for me. =) dengue is good enough.

Anyway, Bored. =}

=]

Am I really emotionless? Unfeeling?

What is wrong with us? We were still playing game together happily. Til something in the game made her angry. I couldnt stand her attitude and talked to her harshly. Quarrelled. Being like this. This process just repeats itself on different events everyday. Smile, laugh, quarrel, cry. Becomes a routine. I couldn't stand it. I started being harsh on her attitude.

She let me know that it was my irresponsbility that made her stop being nice to me when I do things wrong. Thus her attitude. So, it was my fault. Ultimately, it strains the relationship. I hate it. I'm a carefree person. She don't like it. Too carefree she says. No plan, no goals. No emotions.

There was one time, her manager at hotel dont like her, thus stop her from working. She was sad. She called me. She started crying. I told her to stop crying. Stop crying for that bastard manager. She shouldnt cry. She got very angry with me. She says she just want someone to listen to her. She is sad. She want someone to comfort her, not to tell her to stop crying. She feels that I'm not doing my part as a BF. I told her it is ok to lose that job since it has a F-up manager. She says it is hard to find a job and a job that she likes.

I was stumped. I don't know what to do. Apologising wont help. Was I wrong? Was I really wrong? Am I that bad as a BF? I was at a loss. It happens all the time. Our characters.. Who should be the one changing? Both of us blame it on our characters. She hope I will change.

If it is that easy. Changing someone's character. 5 tears. Why won't she change then? Am I selfish? Why do I feel that she's selfish too? Aren't we all selfish?

Counting my tears. Why would I be tearing now.. when I didnt even shed one yesterday.. Countable tears.. so little.. Maybe I'm really emotionless. Oblivious..

Blog.

Seems like it happened. At least I won't make her cry for my irresponsbility anymore. I don't want to ask her back to hurt her again. Let her go.

My character...

Will I change?

Uncertain of what to do now. Prevented it from happening so many times. Hurt her that many times. My little acts that which I think was alright, hurt her so much. It's not on purpose, but it's still caused by me. Caused so naturally. Am I wrong? Where am I wrong? Why can't I feel that I'm wrong? She had told me so many times. I said sorry that many times. But I never change.

Maybe it's still the best to let her go. She's giving more than I can return.

2 drops of tears. I'm still not good enough for her.

Hmm. again. 3rd post of the day. It rained. =D I fell alseep. And well.. as I thought.. i couldnt hand up marketing report.. so im pretty depressed. but What could I do.. there was no miracle. =D

Sleepish. Crappish. Damm my bro's BOA songs. go away.

Wait. Im back here again. Yeah. from reading blogs. wtf is with ruo ying blog.. someone took over and use some hidden languages or codes? valerie's not working.. polar going fine..

I think Polar is the only readable blog on my links. For me at the very least.

Sad. Whats with me. The urge to blog again.

Noooooooooooooooooooo.

Bye.

CNY

CNY! Shortforms for the win. =D

Was down for dengue a few days ago. for a few days. Pretty new experience. TOo bad it wasnt a life-and-death experience, if not I may treasure stuffs more. =D

Wait. what should I write. Im bored. I was late for blogging this entry. told someone that I had blogged a few nights ago. HA! GOT WAIT?

Not sure what to type. Good morning. 6.33am. maybe i should go to sleep. =D

Sigh. Dont think I could hand up my marketing report now. =( oh whatever. Sleepz FTW

=/

Hmm, Bored. Bored. Bored.

www.archspace.org - playing this game now. As well as maplestory, WC3.

Sigh. I really hope some friends can play this together with me. But, all of them think it is too difficult or tough to learn to play. So I'm bored.

Nearly broke up a few times with her already. Holding on. Mixed thoughts.

Anyway, my life is still the same. But, I'm really losing hope in my life. Too bored with everything. Maybe I'm more suited for single life. It's the reverse when you are single. ROFL.

Ok. End. Nothing much to say as I'm on the phone at the moment.

=)

YoYo~ I think piyo is the only one reading this now. Haha. If there is anyone else reading this, please let me know. It may or may not affect my blogging habit .... from seldom...to barely seldom? =)

Pretty much forgot about everything before my holis, just that I'm gonna do badly for my exams. Anyway, went for the 3days Judo camp. Nothing sort of EXTRAordinary, just EXTRA tired, since I had been missing for trainings for a month. Yea, sorta dis-motivated. Gaming is so much easier. Just need a chair and move little fingers only. Understand my power-saving scheme?

Let's talk about the camp. Was late for the first day due to yaling not wanting to wake up. LoL. Slept late due to late packing. But she stil forgot to bring her sleeping bag the next day. ^^ whatever.... and she brought her wippo there!! ^^ whatever... AND.. ya.. I acted like a big shot being very late. HoHoHO! Merry Xmas. Enough of side tracking. Normal training after that, then there was this black belter, Ivan sensei. I don't really agree with his goal. Nxt para.

He said, "The most important part of competition is to win." yea, seems alright. ",even if you play dirty." ok, not fine with me. Is he being too honest? Nah, dont like him, but I will stil use his technique. Hees. I'm a hypocritc..argh how you spell that.. h-i-p-p-o-p-o-t-a-m-u-s... hmm seems right.. Anyway, he taught for an owl only cuz he's a busy man. ^^

Night run concludes the first day. Food sucks except for a few meals, drinks ok except for a few meals, not enough supper. ^^ Save me from saying all this later.

5am 2nd day, Mr Francis woke us up for morning run. Rain in SINGAPORE!! Get the tix! Nah, it was a rainy morning but stil he wanna run. So be it. I'm a very team guy. Everyone go! YooSH! Ran to Pierce reservoir from NYP. Boring. Too boring. The big problem is.. not everyone is as fit as one and other. Then we have to wait and wait and wait. I dont really feel like running. Anyway, the rain made my shoe as wet as a soaked seaweed after the whole thing, so I threw it away. Adidas FTW.

Btw, Francis was not supposed to be in the picture for the camp. So, somehow, some OBVIOUS way, SOMETHING not nice happened. Not going to elaborate, but I don't feel too good if someone was to overwrite my plan.

2nd night ended after training at Katong. Yeah, went out to our sensei's dojo. Small but cosy. Cool skills taught and learnt. By now, body isn't feeling too well. Aching.

3rd day, we went to train at Bishan Park Sec. Woo, I know they will be good. But I didnt know we suck that much. Secondary is the prime time for you to really join a cca and learn something. Poly is just too much of a hassle. Anyway, I used a technique learnt from katong and choked a guy from BPS. ^^ happy! yeah. modified tech. but I didnt play with that sensei from BPS. bad feeling. Lols.

Took a cab back and rest. Then swam. Then watch a stupid show, which no one wants to watch except me. Then Xmas xchange. Then end. Nothing much. LoL.

End End End End End End End.

Did I lack out lotsa of stuffs? haha. I know I know. Nvm larrzz. Post too long le.

New.

Great. I'm back again. Don' think there is anyone reading my blog anymore. After a long period of pausesage. Whatever that word means. Somehow my tagboard had been taken down by fooble. Great. Cus no one wants to even scold me for not blogging.

Joseph Ng Jun Wei is very tired. Yea. I want to...[omg.. my english is so bad tht i cant find the correct phrase,word,sentence.] VENT my frustation. Somehow, I know I cant carry on my life like this anymore. Like what? Like playing games everyday, like wanting to play everyday, like wanting to sleep every moment. like....I got the feeling that I will be unfaithful to my girl. Like I want all distinctions for my studies but not still slacking like last sems. Like wasting money on my girl. Like wasting my time on frigging transports due to the that.

Ok. No. It's not my girl's fault. I think a good guy wouldn't mind a girl wanting to be with him every moment. I'm just not good enough, and I hate being clamped between friends, girl and games. For my sake, please avoid causing me to enter such dilemma, cause I might just freak out and screw everyone.

Privacy, room for me to write my tots. Nah.. this is not the place. I don't want to get my girl upset when/if some mofo/SOBs proceed to tell my girl about my rantings. Nah, no one I can talk to. Guys are bad listeners and girls are ...well... my girl get jealous pretty fast. I'm tired. Tired. I hate the "Do you love me?" stuffs. Does 3 words prove anything? I rather find someone to read my heart, then to get myself to try to understand myself.

Yeah, I'm a loser that don't know what HE wants. Except for pleasures without effort, free money, free food, everlasting time.. I'm tired.

I don't think I want a useless tagboard. Just send me comments thru msn. maybe I would create another blog to post my tots. Tired.

ESP

oseph, when it comes to psychic abilities, you have an unusually strong talent in the area of Remote Viewing

This means you have an uncanny ability to travel great distances with your mind, to virtually any location, and actually get a true glimpse at what is located there. The best conditions for traveling space with your mind, or remotely viewing another location, are silence and a calm state of mind. Even without these conditions, you managed to show considerable talent in this area, which is called remote viewing. This skill is phenomenally valuable and has been used by institutions such as the government to help in covert operations designed to retrieve information about the whereabouts of a criminal or to learn about the operations of another country. But mostly this can help in practical, everyday ways, such as instinctively grabbing an umbrella before making a trip to the next town over even though you had no way of knowing that it was raining there.

Joseph, the thing you need most in a relationship is Deep Connection

In your ideal relationship you and you partner would be deeply and passionately connected. This sense of intimacy is really important for you. As is the need for certain rules and an understanding of who wields the power in your relationship. But regardless of how this works, your deep need for this kind of closeness will ultimately drive your relationship.

----------------------------------

Joseph, you're Calm, Cool, and Collected

Do your friends like to lean on your shoulder? Ask you for advice in life and love? Put you on speed-dial for emergencies? We bet they do. You're as balanced as they come. When it comes to making decisions, you're not afraid to take the time to weigh your options carefully in order to make the right choice. And it takes more than a few obstacles to rattle your cool head.The good news is that you've also got lots of heart, and you make sure that people know that you always have their backs. There's almost nothing more important to you than the people in your life, so being a support to them is the coolest thing around. Just like you.

Joseph, you're a Bashful Kisser

Sure you might be on the shy side as far as kissing goes, but that's a quality more people than you might think really go for. When you were younger, was it hard for you to talk to new people — especially when it came to someone you were interested in? Yeah, we thought so.Lucky for you, many people, back then, and now, think that shyness is adorable and a huge turn on. After all, there's a comfort they get from the feeling that you don't lock lips with just anyone.When it comes to kissing, you're probably a little hesitant to try new techniques. Heck, you might even prefer to stick with gentle pecks until your date finally decides to take it further.While shyness is nice, just remember not to get so anxious you forget to have fun! Know your comfort level, but experiment a little — even if that just means a public display of affection, or we dare you, a nice long kiss — eyes open, lights on!

-------------------

Joseph, you're fit to commit because you know what you want

You don't need us to tell you that you're on the right track. A cool and confident person, you know what you want; now it's just a matter of finding it. Even more important, you know that love is about much more than what kind of clothes they wear or car they drive. And you're ready to make it work.You've gotten to a place where you are happy with your life, and you're ready to share it with someone special. So whether you've found them or are still looking, know that this time, you'll get what you want.

monday

First day of the break. Mmm. not really.. but it's monday. The blues.

Chatted with yaling the whole day yesterday. No life. Yeah. Time passed quickly with games and it was midnight already. So.. Yeah.Slept at 4.30. Woke up at 1.30? Should be around there. Haha.

2 hours had passed. Did nothing significant. Smsed yaling. Talked to Juey. (He's damm bored and asking for ppl to go out) Talked to JY. Auntie Joyce talking to me now. (Mrs Polar.) LoL. So yeah. I'm bored.

Let's write abt last Friday. Met up with Leo, Yaling for cheap lan-ing. In the end it wasn't. Usual rate. Played til 11.30pm. Tekka mall. Somewhere at Little India. haha. Then, erm, we decided to walk walk. Because Worm dont wanna go home. (figure it out) We walked to city from there? Gosh. Shaws tower. Bugis. Then we were lost at Cityhall. Haha. We decided to go Cineleisure to watch midnight show. erm. Yeah. Wandered. Stopped and ate a 7-11 store. Not bad. (typo. yea. we ate a store.)

Walking and walking. Erm, we got to cineleisure? Thanks God! Yea, because He didnt rain fireballs at us. Anyway, we reached there at 2am? lol. Benchwarmers at 2am slot. Chiong in ah!! YL was like wanting to watch horror movie. Yea. To my horror, we didn't. =] Benchwarmers. Retarded nipper twister! WooT! Laugh. Retards.

Anyway, after that, 3.30? Decided to pool? Walk over to.. erm.. Dhoby again. Wanted to bring them to a place where I went last time during Joanna's bdae. Remembered the route. somehow. Woot. The place had being closed. Wth. Then I toppled a stone pillar. [ lol. x) ] Angry! Nah. So, we figured that we could take the Night Riders to wander around. 3 dollars to everywhere. How cool? Took NR6 at Park Mall. All fell aslp. Shoo-ed down at Pan Pac Hotel.

We waited for bus. 4.30am. Hey, why aren't the bus stopping. Puzzled. THEN WE FINALLY KNOW THAT NIGHT RIDER SERVICE ENDS AT 430AM. GO TO HELL. MYUK! lol. damm.
So, we went to sleep around.. to wait for MRT service to start. Hotel. SHooed. Citybank ATM WOOT!! SLept!! Hee. =] COol. Cold airconditioning. Woke up at 6. Left me and YL there. Where's leo. -_-" and who is that couple there? Angmoh and Chinese CB. =X Faster wake up and went to look for leo. Paiseh sia. my god. Leo came back from the toilet.

Went down to Citylink. COntinue sleeping at. erm the cafe near MPH. Okie. Shooed. Fine. SIngapore is not wanderer friendly. Yaling came back with us to Woodlands. Me and leo had a change of clothes. Then we went to eat breakfast at Vista point. Followed by a walkwalk at NTUC civil and then CWP. LoL. YL reserved a shoe. (just one. (jking)) Leo went home to sleep.

Then I sent YL home. Afternoon. Slept over til around 5pm. Went to buy cup noodles and had it as lunch. Stayed there til 7pm. haha. Then I went home to sleep. End of friday.

Cool. Adios.

=]

Wednesday.

Well well, 4 days since I last blogged. Had been busy cum lazy. You should know the feeling of not wanting to doing anything after a long day. yea.

Nothing unusual happened. Caught a movie with Pris today. Xmen. =] COol show. All the effects. The storyline is good too. bah. But.. there's some parts that feel like a horror movie, and then some parts are arousing. Oh well. =] *woohooo*

Haha.. about my feelings. It's still the same. No. No one in particular. Looking through the choices. No one is really that special yet. That's how I'm feeling now. No matter how cute or pretty or nice, there's aways better. I'm not sure what I'm searching for. VOID. Unstable.

But I know I'm still yearning for someone that I can/would like or love or.. whatever...care.. Damm. I'm just lazy.

And, school works. Boring boring. Maplestory is better. -_-" at least I can stay at home. Don't feel like going anywhere. Tests, projects, practicals. I can do them. But..

That's pretty much about all. [Maybe it will all ends up with passes and move on to the nxt sems. (I can never get into university bah)]

Cya.

Saturday.

Saturday.

Sleep.

End. Adios.

Friday NC

Friday.

Skipped school because I know that I had excuse letter today. Wahahah. =] Went to school at 1230 for MAD! Hmm. Okie.Then we realised that MAD is part of the Buzz carnival. Stores selling stuffs? And there wasn't really any buzz. Empty sports hall. =]

Performance was fine. Silat was really good. Taekwondo erms.. Kickboxing, cool seniors with qi gong. Akikido...cultural.. Kendo not bad, too much speech though. Judo, haha, I dont know =P But, I'm sick of Mortal Combat.

Went home to prepare for night cycling. Wee, late. =X haha. Took tAxi down to ECP EAST COAST PARK. Waited at Macs. Oh right.. Subi, Leo, Jeremy, Wanshi, Pris, Scott, Phelan, JunJie, Kenny, Wee hong, Aydeng, Dennis, Tyler, Ah tan, and me. LoL. Went to take the bike after we gathered. $7 overnight. Started cycling at 9.

First stop, ECP hawker. LoL. Ate first. Some ate at Macs already. Then we continue the biking to City area. Stadium Road, Nicole highway. 2nd stop, War memorial. Chopsticks. Yeah, this was sorta of a educational tour. Aydeng as the guide. =] Then we went on to other various places. Fullerton, Merlion, Esplanade, Supreme Court. Historical sites.

We had supper at Lao Pa Sa. Then we went on to Tiong bahru, Railway station. lol. I not exactly sure of the name. -_-" But we got there. The place is really old though. Then...We went back? Haha. Memory loss after a sleep. =X Some of us take turns to go missing. Too slow, stopped by traffic, traffic light etc. LoL. =] haha Fun. Oh yea. Leo had a cramp. Then he was really slow for the rest of the journey. Guess he cycled at gear 1 for too long. lol. Wasted.

Ending. We chionged all the way from City to Bedok Jetty. I'm 2nd. LoL. Then my legs really cant take it anymore. Guess I really peddled hard. Anyway, All of us sit at the jetty. Had fun. Talked crap. Some nearly fell asleep. I napped for around 5-10mins. Then I did breakfalls. Er, it hurts. The others do with me. I think they hurt more. HA! Taji session. QA session. =] Sunrise. Too cloudy. But.. it's really good, with all the company.

Went to return bikes at 7am. Walked to Macs. Some ate. Then we splited up in taxis and went home. Whew. Tired. Taxi uncle..really nice. charged only $20. Saved $1.20. Think he felt bad about not knowing the route. Showered. Creamed. Sleep. Home Sweet Home.

Bye.

The Do You Act Your Age Test

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=6263079427778143051

TeenybopperYou scored 30 Age 4-8, 115 Age 8-12, 387 13-17, and 338 18+!
How old are you again, 13? Grow up please, being childish isn't attractive!

okie. This should take up a new post. Who cares. I'm in the range of 13-17. So, its quite accurate? HA!

u

The Are You Interesting? Test
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=15680802765629144619

Excited TerrierYou scored 47!
You might have a spark of interest in you, but we can't really be sure. You've scored square in the middle. It'd probably behoove you to either get outside more or use your brain a bit more often, whatever the case may be.

4th quiz. =] No idea again.......

z

The Seven Deadly Sins Test
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=10058428466864441281

PrideYou scored 50 externality and 34 desire!

You're proud, and you should be...proud. Um, yeah. Dante described Pride as a "love of self perverted to hatred and contempt for one's neighbor." It's hard not to love yourself, though, because you're probably just that awesome. Pride is also referred to as Vanity (like that dead, mutilated model in Se7en). The funny thing is, Pride is supposed to be the "worst" sin, but I think it has a lot of positive connotations in American culture. Patriots are proud! Soccor moms are proud! Pride is sort of the conservative, upper middle class sin...

I don't quite get this. But...

The Hentai Testhttp://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=15844491276623588375

Male CharacterYou scored 50%

You are definitely in the action, but when the lead comes along you back down and let them do what they will. While the story might not focus around you, you've definitely got some good screen time.
You are on your way to becoming a real hentai, you aren't quite there yet but keep watching and you will get there. Go for it!

Er, hey, dont screw me. Just doing some quiz. TEEEHEEE!!! OMG.

test

Quietly ExtrovertedCongratulations! You scored 34!

You love going out and having a good time, be it with a large group of friends or your significant other, however, you don't mind chilling out either. You'd be better off living in the city, but the outskirts of a major town is good too. You're capable of holding an intelligent conversation if the mood really strikes you. You're not quite as annoying to an introvert, but could be if you don't learn when they're not in the mood for talking. You're willing to try new things and if necessary, can keep a secret.

The Introvert/Extrovert Testhttp://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=7727758359986668519

ha? oh well. =]

Monday

Oh man. Had been sick since Friday. Wonder if it has to do with Juey's 100 plus, or my lack of sleep. Anyway, m using a new acne cream. Costed me $30++ at the polyclinic. Skipped lesson to go there on Friday.

Monday. So Sianz. Late night gaming. Very tired. Sleep. Woke up tired. SICKED. DAmm. Don't feel like going and my mother was disturbing. me. Oh well. Skipped 9am lecture. AGAIN. Don't feel like going 10. Went for 11. Was feeling uncomfortable, while sleeping on train. Tried so hard to control my coughing.

Reason: Don't wanna get attention from my coughing. =]

Fell back asleep when the train is at Khatib. Oh well, I'm stupid. Woke up at AMK. OMFG. Got down, and took another back. Bumped onto Yaling on the train. =] Cool. Didn't talk much to her, wasn't feeling that well during that moment. But it made me realised that I shouldn't go gloomy whole day. Thanks for the quiet reminder. The rest of the day was plain. I just slept. Running nose. Gcks! Sickening. *cough cough*

Went home. Watched School Rumble. Were very tired but feel like I should watch abit. Felt asleep gradually. Woke up at 830, surprisingly, no one chatted or leave a msg. That's sorta new. Watched more rumble and wait for someone to talk. Then Dota!! yea. Only guys would talk to me now. How sad. =(

Anyway, pretty much about all. Crapping now with LaME BROS and JY. Sianz. Showered. Feeling much better. Gotta apply new cream.

Adios.

Sunday.

Secrets. Anonymous. What kind of secrets do you wanna know?

On my feelings? What's there to hide when I feel nothing now. I know I want a gf. That's all. But I'm picky. And I'm lazy. And I sucks at this. What else? Oh yeah, and I'm bored.

About my friends? Hmm, nah.

My family. No secrets either. At least I don't know about it.

On how I pass even when I'm not studying. Ask God.

Health. I'm sick. Cough. Tired.

I hate wasting time trying to feel how others feel. Not exactly hate. Just that it's tearing me down. And I hate mistakes.

I hate pimples. I'm vain.

I'm not facing any problems now. Not academically nor emotionally. I think.

I sucks at cheering people up. Because people sucks at cheering me up. Or rather I'm too easily cheered up that I think eveyone's the same and I'm damm fucked by people who turned to bite me when I can't do the same.

Fine fine.

Adios.

*incomplete*

Sat

Saturday already. Wow. Time passes quick.

No, I wasn't really busy. Just..Er, need to do something else. Tere would be times when I will be here, then left with a empty post. Yea, didn't put those posts up for obvious reason. Just one. Ask me for the reason. =]

Judoing Judoing, skipping lessons. What else can I do? Studying, reading or.. hmm getting a girlfriend [ good idea=) ], getting a job [ even better ] [NAH!] and well.. more Judo. Haha, Judo might become the equivalent of basketball during my sec school life. I'm still procrastinating about lots of stuffs. LOTS. HA!

Lots of stuffs happened this few days while I wasn't here blogging. Man, Nah, don't feel like writing them down. Stuffs that let me think and know. Makes me think more and more. Humans are weird creatures. Fascinating. yeah, I'm inhuman. =]]

Guess I'm really longwinded about what I think about stuffs. Ha, just read my blog. =] It's ME! My writing style. And yea, I leave infomations out here and there. Not a good story writer. But I create suspense! Bad puncutation too. =] Lots of thought bubbles. See? Another paragraph about me. =]

Update again. I'm starting to feel unloving.

Joseph, the emoticon that represents you best is the Sticking-Tongue-Out Face

What's so funny? You are! That's why the emoticon that represents you best is as good-humored as you.

Woah, Cool. Accurate. Yeah, I'm bored. =P xP x) =]

=]

Work like you don't need the money.

Love like you've never been hurt.

Dance like nobody's watching.

Sing like nobody's listening.

Live like it's Heaven on Earth.

Sunday

Hmm, Saturday was Judokas movie gathering. haha. Booked ticket for Davinci Code. Cool. Was late though. Supposed to meet at 2 at Marina Square. But I left at 2pm from Woodlands. Haha. To collect tix, so it was fine. =] I suppose. Come flame me if it's not.

The movie was great. As in, at least it's still a movie. WTH I'm talking about. Did enjoy the show. Heard alot of disputes over the issues about true history and true christianity shit. Whatever guys. It's only a movie. Moreover, to me, history is just stuffs recorded by humans. Mother Nature don't write nor preaches. But She preserves stuffs from the past nevertheless. Not a pagan. Nor a scientist. Let me go back in time, and through that should I believe written history.

=] Went walking around after that. Walk walk. OMG. Nvm. I was abit tired. Wonder why. Maybe my body feel like resting alot on weekends. BTW. The walking around is not held at Marine Sq..but from..there.. to Mustafa. to Jalan Beser. Horne road[horny]. then Jalan Besar Swim pool then back. Ended at.. Lavender? LoL. But it was still fun nevrtheless. Jokes all the way. Laughed. =] alot.

Skipped alot of stuffs. =] It's a good Sat day. Sunday boredom.

Friday.

Nice. Came back to blog. What did I miss out? Er, Getting my orange belt. Tagboard annouced. Thurs lan with leo, polar, chin and yaling. 8dollar plus. -_-"

Friday. Got my 1st warning letter. Woah. It's only been 2 months since school started? damm. Okie. Had been missing too much lessons and lecturers had been catching people. Can't they understand that even if I don't go for class, I can still get good grades if I had wanted to, and even if I go for class, if I had not wanted to study, I would still fail? Yea, we need some understanding.

Stayed back after school. Was wanting to go get a job application with Yaling. Hmm, some lobangs recently. =] but her manager wasn't there today so had to cancel. Then I remembered that there was Kendo exchange program with some Jap school as well as NUS. So, I stayed to take a look. Sat around for 3hrs plus? Walked abit too. haha. A distinctive differences in training style is their discipline. Organised. Less fun (fooling around)? I'm NOT critizising. =]

Anyway, it is still cool. During their training, I would be able to see this silly girl. Stamping her foot while waiting for her turn to come. Sorta recognised her before her stamping. But the stamping style confirmed it. Guess she's too nervous or excited to wait without moving. Yea, refering to JY. Everything was fine. I was crapping on the 2nd floor with Leo and ZhiLi till I noticed a crowd.

Someone had a accident. Got a feeling. Saw the someone with armour and everything unable to move. Is it her? Yeah, it's JY. In pain. Had a fall. Saw her removed all her armour and start rubbing her leg. Then I could see her disappointment in her face, and her limping around. Did it really hurt that much? Do you think you wanna try forcing yourself to train still, since it's going into the more important part? [from my point of view] But, yea, it never came out. It wuld had sounded very wrong. And, since you are really in pain, don't force.

Damm, mixed feeling. Why cant it be someone else who get injured? Then I wouldnt had bother that much. Did a uber stupid thing. I went down to talk to her. I knew she wasn't feeling too good, so I thought it would be better to talk to her and try to distract her from her pain and to also know how bad was the injury. [but yea, I know nuts about reliefing pain so it was pretty pointless too. But is there another way to show concern? hais] I felt abit out of place already when I was there, cause I wasn't supposed to? Talked abit.

TaK! Tak! TAK! Another girl came crushing down on JY after tripping on her. She was resting there, and I was at the side. I think I manged to push and prevent that girl to sit on JY's painful leg? Then... Ah. hais. I was smiling and sorta laughing due to the clumsiness of that girl who came thumbling on JY and also JY's having a unlucky day. Then yea, before I say anything else, JY tells me to go away. !!!!!shocked!!!? oh no. I realised you are angry. But I didn't say sorry. Caused I know you just misunderstood me. Maybe if I said sorry during then, it might help, but..grr. damm reflex. I don't react fast enough.

Seriously. I didn't know that you would get angry. I knew you are disappointed, but what would be the best reaction that I should had have? Should I had reprimanded that senior for not watching where she's moving? No. She didn't do that on purpose. Should I be showing concern and asking if you are alright? I tried, but I laughed first, and I was condemmed. Okie, I'm finding excuses for myself. I'm sorry. Just don't be angry with me? not that much can?

I wasn't laughing about your aspiration for Kendo. Wasn't disrespecting you. Wasn't looking down on you. Was trying to see you smile because I know that laughing and smiling are addictive. Was trying to wipe off your disappointed look from your face. Was trying to encourage you to go join the training no matter how painful it is.

I know the importance. Yeah. But I couldn't feel the pain. So, I don't have the right to say that. I'm just sorry?

Went back with Leo after that. And a hybrid Judokendoka. -_-" Saw JY around before leaving. Didnt say a thing. The look on her face. Can only say a bye to her.

Then I'm home. =] Played a few rounds of dota. Actually only 2. Not bad. Didnt think too much. Goodnite.

Saturday

Yo. Sat. Sleeping and sleeping. Nothing else for me to do. There's some reports I need to do. I know, but no. What to do, how should I start. Playing game. It's boring. Missing some elements. Some feelings.

=] Getting tired I think. Getting tired of crapping with people. Getting tired to think of how should I be joking with them. I just wanna keep myself shut. There was times where I smses alot to anyone, everyone. That changed. Chatting on msn.. ha..

Yeah. This is a depressing entry. =] Weak smile. I think the only reason I had choose to crap, it's because I can't find anything to talk about. I cant leave the conversation to die out. I feel stupid being stupid at times. Who is the real me? Am I really someone who is so lame and crappy? Seemingly forever happy-go-lucky? Introvert or extrovert?

But still, I had ignored people. I just don't feel like replying. Have this feeling "yeah, it's fine". No. I don't know why. OMG. I'm disagreeing with myself. Must be due to the hemispherically balanced fact. haiz. right now I'm crapping again. =]

Will people still like me if I had been quiet all the time? Would it be the same if I hadn't been crapping as much? Would it be the same if I had never watched and think about what I say and what I do? (There is people who say and do things without going through their mind.) How would it be different?

Somehow, guess I'm tired. Feel like tearing. But guess I'm not sad enough. Would you all go away?

blogg

Thursday. Tomorrow is Vesak Day. Do you know that I thought that was a Tamil festival? Haha. Anyway, Thursday is boring. 3 hours. 3 hours. Yeah I went today. But..I just sleep lar. So easy. Okie.. not really. But I think I have the capabilities of studying that myself lor. Though I won't lar. Just too lazy.

But it's really .. simple. hais. Sometimes I just think I'm too good for this and that and blah blah. Maybe it's wrong.. but. =] Whatever you say. SAY! SAY! SAY!

Wednesday Judo training. Grading FOOOH!!! All the formalities and stuffs. Then..
Sensei : Harai Goshi.
Joseph entered his leg, forgot about the hand for a beautiful kata (argh hacks), lifted and threw!
Zhaohan weighing 109kg, lifted like a feather, floated for 2secs and dropped.
BAMM!!!
WoohoO!!! Felt that great. =] Seriously it does. Yeah, I'm boasting. Wahahhaa. The rest was fine. I just love the feeling of throwing people. As well as being thrown bah. =]

Wednesday was a hell of training. Francis and Lin Feng worked hand in hand to screw us up. Yeah. I was fine earlier through all the exercises. Then I started to feel very thirsty. Very very. I drank. Still thirst. Drink and drink. Then my stomach started to feel bad. Watery and cold. grrr. My mouth still felt dry. The feeling... GRR!! I'm that weak!! -_-" hais. I can't feel my hand halfway through the training too. It's so weird. First time. Then. It's a numb pain. Numb + pain + can't feel anything else.

We went to eat at S11. Big gang. But seperated. Not enough tables. Damm. Doesn't feel as good as when we can all see each other. Hmm. COol. I still love the Judokas.

brain quiz

Brain Usage Profile

Left brain 50% && Right Brain 50%
Auditory 53.8% && Visual 46.2%

Joseph, you are one of those rare indiviuals who are perfectly "balanced" in both your hemispheric tendencies and your sensory learning preferences. However, there is both good news and bad news.

A problem with hemispheric balance is that you will tend to feel more conflict than someone who has a clearly established dominance. At times the conflict will be between what you feel and what you think but will also involve how you attack problems and how you perceive information. Details which will seem important to the right hemisphere will be discounted by the left and vice versa, which can present a hindrance to learning efficiently.

In the same vein, you may have a problem with organization. You might organize your time and/or space only to feel the need to reorganize five to ten weeks later.

On the positive side, you bring resources to problem-solving that others may not have. You can perceive the "big picture" and the essential details simultaneously and maintain the cognitive perspective required. You possess sufficient verbal skills to translate your intuition into a form which can be understood by others while still being able to access ideas and concepts which do not lend themselves to language.

Your balanced nature might lead you to second-guess yourself in artistic endeavours, losing some of the fluidity, spontaneity and creativity that otherwise would be yours.

With your balanced sensory styles, you process data alternately, at times visually and other times auditorially. This usage of separate memories may cause you to require more time to integrate information or re-access it. When presented with situations which force purely visual or purely auditory learning, increased anxiety is likely and your learning efficiency wll decrease.

Your greatest benefit is that you can succeed in multiple fields due to the great plasticity and flexibility you possess.

http://www.memoryedge.com/brain.html
Cool. =] True. Blog tomolo about today. Tired. Special note: Yaling's a cool girl.

Tues nite.

Tues. Missed a lesson. A test. How cool is that? Ate lunch with mom. How Cool is that? Then go to school. How Sad is that?

Nah, sit for medical imaging. CT scans. Fine. Scan me. C++ Programming. Fine. Too tough. But I managed to do something. Guess I'm in a good mood due to that? Nah. Not sure. Went home with Pris today. together with my classmates. On the way mah. Hahaz Then. Nothing. Tired. Good mood.

Maple. Dota. Sian.

Did I write this before? I wanna work again. Wait. I don't really want this. But. I think I want money. What for? Don't know. Spend it on food? Splurge? on girls? on birthday presents? on fashion? on impulse? I don't know.

Morning Tuea

Alright, Tuesday now. What happened to Monday. Well, I'm not sure. It was a short day in school. Lesson from 9 - 1. COol. =] But I decided to skip the 9am lesson then go for the 10. Extra 30mins of rest. =]

Reached there for the E learning. Signed my attendance. The kind lecturer asked me to sign for both the E learn as well as the 9am lecture. Well, guess he didnt know I wasn't there. haha. Started to solve the bloody thermofluid question. Easy. =] and then last week's . Easy too. Damm. Bored.

Nxt. LamLam class of Electronics. I heard a ICA is coming up. Haha. Should I start preparing now? Talked about transistor today. I slept. Woke up with some vandalising on my finger. ALICIA!!! Nevermind. It looks cool. =] Arigatou.

Then me, Ali and Vinvin proceeded for the nxt lesson. Tutorial with CheahCM. Not bad. Interesting. I actually wrote stuffs down on the tutorial paper. =] His lesson is always... hmm interesting I guess. hees.

Went to hand in the morning Elearn paper and proceeded home. Went CHeers. Met up with Wai and Tony on the train. Vinvin left at Admirlty. Tony left at Yishun. I left Wai at Woodlands. 900 home. Tired. SLept. Til 8? hmm plus or minus. Hees.

Dota. Maple. Time passed. I feel like working now. I wanna spend all this time. I wanna have money. I hate boredom.

=) ciaos.

I won't be blogging if I have a busy(interesting) life. So, if ever I were to stop blogging. Don't worry. It means I'm busy. But I will be back.

Sunday?

Sunday. 9pm. Felt like blogging after being bored for awhile. Woke up in the afternoon, switched on the comp. Went away for awhile. BJ asked for dota. -_-" okie. Drag and drag. Finally did. Whew. Not bad. Not as F-up as Sat's game.

Time passes. I'm bored. Stop dotaing. Chat. Bored with Chat. Slack. I think I ate lunch. Okie. Ate random stuffs. Bored. Bored. Bored. Maple. Dota. Maple. Chat. Don't feel like talking. No interests. No topic. Feels stupid to pull on conversation with craps. But it's effective. Talking about current affairs seems boring. I dont know much to chat about. Don't chat with me about the voting. Cause I don't read much too. I don't care who did what in which GRC, SCC,SRC, SRJC. -_-" okie.

Okie, read JY's blog. Ha, looks like the same thing of event is happening again. =] And then, she started to talk to me. Aww. So qiao. (learnt from someone lar.) yeah, stuffs happened until here. Rather boring.

Can I critizise her? Hmm, JY, read this and tell me. =] Hahaz.

So, right now. Nothing. Nothing at all. I don't have any feelings yet. Hmm. Desperado!!

Sun 144am

Alright. Had been busy too. thus the delay in blogging. Don't RAHH!. -_-" Friday went for Judo training again with cramps all over. Haha but I still did, and well rub abit of the heat thing and.. hmm not that crampy towards the end. =] But my breakfalls feel more painful. We were training our grading stuffs. and yea. Xinyi and Leo cant hold my weight thus can't reduce much of my impact. Dinner at Mac. End.

Btw, I wasn't sad that day. Just abit tired. I will smile if someone talks to me. =]

Played dota at night after Judo. Owned by zhaohan's friends using some fing tactics. Quited. Chat and chat. Played a few games of dota and saved a replay for Yaling.

Saturday. 6 hrs sleep. 11am. OMFG late for my friend's bday celebration. Judokas. =) Nvm. Reached there around 1230. Eating at Sakura Buffet. COol Place. Nice FOod. Not gonna elaborate. But I think we ate the price we paid for it. $24. A stack of 80 pudding cups. Went to Heeren. Walked around. Looked at pretty girls. =] Man. Then we went to Egaming place at Cineleisure Orchard. =] FUN!!! CS. But I sucked at it. yeah.

After tat, the gang split up. It got abit boring. Because we cant find anything to do. And.. yeah.. tired. =] Buffet nearly killed us all. Nevertheless, we all had fun. It rocks. I stayed with the gang that stayed after the thing. Wanna catch a movie. But there isn't enough seats. Not PS, not Cathay Cineleisure at Dhoby. Went to Gelare and had ice cream. Thank Dennis. It's really good. =] I left them after they decided to go pool, and met Leo as he's going home from bugis too. =]

Now, I'm at home. Playing dota. Tired. Sleepy.Happy. Just pissed with dota. And I played an hour of basketball today. =) hees. Seeya all.

Post 3 thurs

Personal Development Quiz - What kind of listener m I?

->People- Oriented Listener

Strengths:
-Cares and is concerned about others.
-Is non-judgemental.
-provides clear verbal and nonverbal feedback signals.
-identifies emotional states of others.
-Interested in building relationships.
-Notices moods in others quickly.

Weakness:
-becomes over-involved with feelings of others.
-avoid seeing faults in others.
-adopt emotional states of others.
-is intrusive to others.
-is overly expressive when giving feedback.
-is non-discriminating in building relationships.
----------------------------------------------------
Cool pretty accurate. Not a bad stuff from CMS. =]

Slack Thurs

How interesting. Previous post was completed at 530am. Yeah. Slept at 6.30am. Lesson at 9 am on Thurs. I don't wanna wake . I had the chance to..but. Hmm. Can't be bothered? (flame me) Today there's a 3hr tutorial and 3hr lab. =] as well as a test. = Yeah, forgot about it when I said I wanna slack. [edited] and Yeah, I skipped school today.

I missed out something last nite. The Lame Bros had a chitchat session last night. 3 guys. Talk for..erm 2.5 hrs? Yeah, guys can talk that long too. Civic Centre. Then move on to a playground. =] No details on the convo though. Hahha. Went home late. Shower late. Stil energized. Even after the training. We decided to train Leo DOTA and so we didn't get to sleep.

Sorta regretted that after I knew that I had a test, and what the shit. Man. Just forget it. Just hope for a retest or something. And yeah, had been absent twice for Thurs already. I haven't find something that will push me into becoming a hardworking student yet. And, this isn't good. I realised that and I know that some of my classmates will be "despising" me soon.

I started to get enthu about Judo because of the new stuffs. And new hope I had in me. =] Just make sure that this lasts. -_-" yeah. I'm a moody person. And so I give myself alot of excuses. Seriously, I think someone will come to think that "he thinks he knows himself , but doesn't do anything about it, what a moron?" Just Too Lazy. JTL mood.

Nah, my mind is pretty confused now. I wanted to write about more stuffs. Like how I think I want to get to my schoolwork due to having nothing that I really want to do. Is there anything that I had want to do? Is there anything that I had need to do? Need and Want. It's different.

Anyway, I just want attention, I think. =] Quite glad that alot of people is reading my blog. x)) smile guys. and tag with a nice nick with a "who you are".

Thurs 145

ROFL. School was lame. Sleepy. Boring. Hmm, nah, not exactly. Just abit more enthu about my Judo today. =] Skipping the School part.

Judo. Went early due to early dismissal. Met with Pris and Jiaying. =] Met JY earlier. Can say I dont feel much about her anymore. =] so cool. whahahah. Then we went to the dojo first. played abit and well, didnt realised I irritated her by that much. -_-" threw her once. And she went around whacking people. -_-"

Anyway, today's turn up rate was acceptable just that.. lateness. hahas Nvm, I'm not that punctual anyway. hahaha Cool, finally get a numbers of contacts. =] Yeah, I wanna get the freshies together bah. Some of the closer members stayed till the end with us. OMFG. We were so screwed by the physical training of Lin Feng Senpai. -_-" Diving pushup, crunches, cross jump. HolyCarp. Fish with halo. x)) Sets. Repeats. I can't feel my arms anymore. being such a long time since I do this. Secondary basketball training? How I miss my fitness.

Sorta spaced out after that. Overexerted myself? I don't know. Terrible feeling. Washed my face to remove some uncomfort. =] looks better after the wash I think. If not I would look so damm scary. -__-" Recover recover through the night. Ate at S11. Ramen Unagi was good. =)) hees. Talked. Played. Chatted.

Judo Club rocks. You guys rocks. =]

Tuesday

Cool day. Slept for only..er.. 3hours? Talked some crap with Jiaying. -_-" yea, shouldn't do it again. ROFL Anyway, I was so tired and uncomfortable that I managed to stay awake. Just cant make myself feel too comfy. =)

Went to school early for C++ programming. -_-" wanted to take a taxi, but it made me missed 3 buses?! wth. Then I went for the bus. -_-" whatever. saved the money for other stuffs. [FOOD!! =)) ] The MRT was not crowded at all. =] Good, but the way there was. Sian.

Managed to get myself to do some learning on C++. Rather easy. -_-" stop getting jealous of me, just take some time to understand the E lectures. Trial and Error works. Grr. Copy all you want. I'm lazy to do at times. =] LamLam Tutorial was okie. Learned something again. Nah. I wanted to slack. Oh well.

Studying of radioactivity and blablaba. OMG. Bored. Slept. -_-" think I snored. ROFL. Then went to eat Wanton Mee + extra wanton and Mee from Alicia. Crap. $2 for $5 worth? Nvm. Wanton was good. Mee too starchy. Hate the musky taste. Anyone the same as me? zzzz.

C++ again. Learned more again. =] Cool. ROFL. maybe I have a flair for such things lar. But please do understand that if I don't study, I can't make it either. So, do not treat me like a deity who can answer all your questions. I shall try my best.

Went home. Woah. Being awhile since we go back in a group. This may applies only to me though. -_- anti social. Got off at Admirlty to buy comics. Cool. Got 2. $10. zzz. Save abit tomolo. =)

Then I'm bored. Maybe playing game. But I think I shall sleep early. I wanna do my best for Judo tomolo. Not just tomolo. I wanna do something bah. =) hahas. Seeya all.

Tuesday now? 2.30am. Euphoric state's over. =) Starting to feel rather emotionless. Realised I'm like this most of the time I'm alone. Unless someone near me give me a tap on my shoulder or when someone close to me is around. Just been a few days. The confidence sorta worn out. Staying in front of a computer isn't very healthy. I guess. Feel like playing basketball when I'm free again. Planning. Procrastinating. -_-:: This is me again. =) Feel like dating Ann too, because she testimonied me. Procrastinating. =) hahas.

Thought about stuffs when I went out earlier to have dinner. Closed my eyes. Hmm. Cool. My brother and mother and aunt are annoyingly noisy. =)p ROCL. Roll On Car Laughing. x)) Okie, back to topic. I'm starting to feel that I haven't experience stuffs enough. Been rather aloof. From secondary school except for basketball. Only basketball matters. Even if I go to AMK, it will be a match. And ya, for some dates, then I had travelled. Minimal gatherings. Minimal outings with friends. Nil oversea outings w/ friends. Rather empty life?

Poly life had been an hassle as I had to take the train everyday. Somehow, I don't feel comfortable. Maybe due to the fact that I hadn't been in crowds much and I think I sorta hate crowdy areas. =_=" yea. And, I don't like eye contacts , with strangers. It feels weird. SHY!! =)) ROFL. Man, this isn't working out for me. What can I do...procrastinate.. , and I also don't like to go out for no good reason. " Hey, let's go Orchard for a cup of coffee. " "*SHOCKED!!* huh? I have 3 in 1 at home. =)) "

Yeah, -_-"crappish. Just somemore of me. =) Goodnight.

Joseph, your mood tends to swing between Uneasy & Sad.

Most of the time you feel uneasy. Your outlook on life tends to be negative and you spend considerable energy dwelling on your negative feelings and emotions. Your uneasy nature causes you to get worked up over every negative aspect of your life. When you feel sad, your outlook on life tends to be negative and you are plagued by feelings of dissatisfaction.

-_-" oh well. Another survey due to morning boredom.

Joseph, your sense of humor is Banter!

Like a king of pinball, you've made an art of playing off of people because your sense of humor is all about banter. Like many great comedians before you, a roundtable of friends, or a roomful of targets, is the catalyst for what makes you laugh. It brings out the wit — and sometimes the nitwit — in everyone. It's quantity, not quality that matters as you and your friends alternate outbursts like the riffs of a hit single.

Here's the bottom line: You're a social creature. Other people's inside jokes even strike you as funny. You manage to gravitate toward people who can appreciate a tall tale and you've probably never hesitated to fire off a zinger — even in a roomful of strangers. So keep it up with your bantering methods. Laughter, after all, keeps the world going 'round.

Ahh!! Cool. =)

Rants

Ranting ranting. Hmm, so bored. To be at home. Slept like 9 hours today. Did a questionaire. Lvled my maple rogue. =_= stil bored. My blog is under "rants". So I rant rant!! Rant. This blog is into the lurving theme. Who cares. It looks good. Green.

Reflecting my personality. Ha again. Find myself rather impatient. Yea, I can't wait for 3 hours, like queuing up.But I rather spend wasting time on something less important. Actually, this isn't about my personality. I meant to write about how I deal with my feelings, ya?

So, I know there is this group of people who read my blog. I had been keeping stuffs, although this is a journal for me to write my true feelings in. *there's always fake blogger personalities onlinne though*

My past relationships all went fast. On a quick pace as some would had say. Get to know Dawn on friendster. Met her a few times. The feelings escalated from friendship to BGR in like 2-3weeks. And, I think I were the one rushing it bah. Meeting her everyday, treating her like a gf even before anything is said. True enough, got together due to a unforeseen event. Then we did what normal couples do. Studying together, go home together, idling together.

All goes well, until I grad. I started working. Less time. More costly to go find her. Mm, my excuses. The pace is still running fast. Then it ended. End at the start of the 4th month. There were chances for us to get back together, but didn't, cause I didn't rush to patch. She tried everything and did everything. I apologised to her sometime ago though. Don't flame me.

Work and work. Some feelings for some girls on the way til the next r/s. Didn't get together, because I didn't rush or that girl managed to stop me from rushing. Refering generally. -_- Then, one fine day, saw Jasmine at SingaporeCricketClub. First impression not bad. Talked, played, felt good with her. Went back home together as she lived at Woodlands too. The pace. I think we skipped the friend and understanding eachother stage. We both thought we were ideal for each other at that point of time.

Sweet talks worked. We may had last forever if we never had stop to wonder what's wrong with the relationship. If she hadnt have to go to school and start a new beginning, a new stage. She got busy. Less time. Tiring for her. Excuses that I think for her, same as mine for Dawn. The feelings seem to fade. I held on to it. Broke up one fine Sunday. I believed that we could still get together. Sorta rushed at it again. Ended up hurting both parties. But, damm...it.. how do I slow down. Hais.

Maybe I should get used to it. The slowing down part. No more rushing I hope. The other guys could enlighten me abit. (but, I had more r/s than them though. *cheeky*) Doing so right now. *frustrated*

Learning something new.

Questionaire - 20 names.

1.Jiaying 2.Priscillia 3.Zhaohan
4.Koksiang 5.Jiawen 6.Leo
7.Brockjsee 8.Kaiyun 9.Xinyi
10.Wanshi 11.Naish -_- 12.Alicia
13.Vincent Tan 14.Natalia 15.Atirah
16.Wilson 17.Delphi 18.Tricia
19.Jeremy (My bro) 20.Zaty

Ok, abit messy, but to save space and scrolling time.

1.how did u meet 13?
BME course. =)

2.what would you do if u've never met 14?
Who knows. If I don't, I won't be writing her name down. Thus this question is invalid. =) -_-

3.what would u do if 11 and 16 dated?
Ha! I promote Racial Harmony and Gays.

4.did u ever like 20?
Nah, racist... er, Justkidding. Love her crappiness. =)

5.would 2 and 6 make a good couple?
ROFLROFL!!! Yea, should try. WahahHHaah

6. Describe 5.
Thick Specs, Gymmer, Jogger, Good friend. Humanoid?

7.Do u tink 4 is attractive?
Yea, very. *stand*

8.Tell me sth about 8.
Love comic idiot? something.

9.Do you know any of 9's family?
Is boyfriend included in the word family? Her dad gave me a ride once. Hm.

10.What's 12's favourite?
Freezing bees.

11.what would u do if 18 just confessed he/she likes you?
Panick.

12.what language does 16 speak?
Chi-na

13.Who is 1 going out with?
No one. Yea. *look away*

14.how old is 10 now?
I'm not sure. Stop growing at the age of 12? =X

15.When's the last time u talked to 19?
He just came into my room.

16.what is 3's favourite band/singer?
Himself. JayChou?

17.would u ever date 14?
Why not? She's a girl. I'm not gay.

18.would u ever date 7?
Why not? He's a guy. I'm not les.

19.Is 15 single?
Er,Yea I think.

20.What is 17's last name?
Er. Er. OMG. I don't know. I think the last name I call her by is Delphi.

21.Would u ever be in a serious relationship with 13?
How serious?

22.What school does 6 go to?
School of Engineering. Don't know the details.

23.Where does 3 live?
509. Woodlands. Beside Woodgrove Primary. 7th flr. I can get there with eyes closed.

24.What's yr fav thing about 20?
Crap. =)

25.Have u seen 12 naked?
OMG! *smiles slyly* *blush* *imagine* *that* *nose bleed* kidding. ROFL. NO.

After mid.

Aloha!

Wow, after midnight already. Hmm, Talked to her again. Good. Good. Hmm *Smiles* Haha, Yea, still euphorically happy. ROFL. And, yeah, other than being lame. I dont know how to entertain people. Nor cheer people up. Nor.. er intentionally joking a funny joke.

I'm just happy. I'm cheered up. I feel it. Haha. Please. If this is cruel, be like this forever. =) Did some quizzes. And, well.. I represent Lonliness(twice), Lost, Sound of rain, water, and ghost/spirit. Haaha, at least the results were quite uniform. So yeah. bleahs. Calm, powerful, destruction without realising.

Leo trying to get his WC3 running. We are waiting for him to get ready. On skype and chat. LoL. This is lame. but fun. haahs. Crap abit with her. haha. Heard her voice. =) Okie, sound so lame. I mean for me to say this. ROFL.

Aloha.

Nite.

Hmm, finally it's 8pm. Today sucks big time? Boring Boring day!!! Sit in front of computer. Maple maple and Maple. Then Dota Dota and Dota. Pretty sick of this already. hahas, dont have this thought while I was playing it though. -_-".

What else did I do today?. Watching cartoons. Ate. Ate. Nothing else. Haiz. What a boring life. remembered I used to play bball from afternoon til evening in school, then went outside to play till the court is closed. So cool. So much fun.

*crash*

What the.. My chair just crashed on me. Scared the hell of out of me. Now I'm only heaven. =) Haha, and yea, I can blog over a period of 10mins to 3hrs. Just bcause there's much happening right now. -_-

I wonder how things will develop again. Ciaos.

Woke up

Oh man. Finally. 8hrs of sleep. Slept at 4.30 Woke up at 12.30. But, I think I slept too longer, feeling even sleepy right now.

Had a long talk with Pris last night. Thus the sleeping at 4.30 but it was worthed it. We talked about feelings. Well, She likes me now as, erm, something else bah. Good to know that, and we are still friends. Don't think of all the "what if"s, it represents regrets. And well, when something happened, it must be for a reason bah. =)

I shall not go into the details of the convo. =) hees I'm giving myself one more week bah. More time. Shall not rush. Shall not be impatient. Shall not do the same mistake. =) hahas

Linsay Lohan - over.